RKNet Blog... Thing

I dreamt about losing someone to a serial murder-rapist, and then being overtaken by the same individual. The dream spared me the details of what happens when you lose a fight with someone like that. The fight itself was terrifying enough in and of itself. I saw him coming, with a crazed look and a really phony premise of being a reporter or some shit. I couldn’t scream loud enough, and the few screams I squeaked out fell on no ears (or deaf ears). I fought, clawed, struggled, tried to run, and it wasn’t enough. The whole dream was steeped in the uttmost terror. Other featured emotions on the dream: piercing loss, bitter sorrow.

Before, or after that, I dreamt I had a huge argument with some woman about how wrong slavery was after watching a man and a woman escape wearing burlap rags. Maybe I was trying to distract her from going after the runaways, but either way I was adamant and livid.

The only thing I can think of is that this was some kind of intense emotional flush of my system. I’ve been angry, and sad, and terrified, and vulnerable. A lot of it was probably all in my head anyway. So I suppose something in my head triggered the flush valve and that was the process through which the rest of that residual emotional mess was purged from my system. There was otherwise no reason for such a thing. I do feel like everything is a lot lighter, and I don’t care if it’s just due to the vacation. The important part is I feel less like a psycho. That’s important. :)

Thanks are overdue to those supporting and/or putting up with me while I was handling myself poorly. :P I mean, I’m always sort of rude, but I’ve been extra rude and I apologize for that. If there are people I haven’t thanked or apologized to, I’m going to have to do so when I get home.

I am enjoying my vacation well enough thus far. This from the girl who is wretched at taking vacations (as some of you may well know). Still, let me outline some of the more memorable notes before I vent about the horrible nightmares I had last night.

Pros and Cons of Delta Song flight 2047 from Boston to Las Vegas
Con - Plane was an hour late in bording, an hour and a half late in arriving, meaning I didn’t get to Vegas (did I mention I was going to Vegas by the way?) until about midnight.
Pro - I got a Cosmo (of sorts) some really nice fruit and cheese, and got to watch Adult Swim during the flight.
Con - I was in the middle seat, poor Ian is too tall to fly in anything but first class, and there was a guy in the window seat. Result: I was one squished little passenger.
Pro - For 5$ I got to play Bookworm for most of the flight. 5$ is way too much for a shockwave game on a touch screen that doesn’t work very well, I know, but for me it was totally worth it.
Con - I didn’t have room to take my jacket off and it was hotter than blazes as a result. (Finally managed to divest myself of it before the end of the flight, thank god.)
Pro - There was a way to monitor the progress of the flight via a series of general flight data and satelite mapping. It was pretty cool.

The airport itself in Vegas was a little unimpressive, although mum was right about the slot machines right in the terminal. That was just nuts. The cab ride was pretty standard, and I overpaid the guy because it was really frigging late by my standards. Although I did groggily note that I had offically seen a palm tree in person for the first time. Unless I saw one when I was in Florida and just spaced it off. Okay, so it was the first palm tree I ever remember seeing, how’s that? Blah.

The hotel couldn’t find our reservation, at all. Still, the night crew managed to get us into a room and up we went, to the 12th floor and our nicely appointed hotel (timeshare) room. Is it a suite or a condo if it’s got a full kitchen? Either way I’ve got lots of pictures to upload and I’ll be posting them separately.
The drama continued into what felt like the following day but was really the same day. After lots and lots of phone calls, and still more phone calls (mostly on the part of Ashley I’m sure, I <3 you!!) it was finally all straightened out.
I had some of the best mexican food I’ve ever had - that is not just the 2 strawberry margaritas I had talking - at this restuarant in the casino next door to the hotel called Baja Miguel’s. If you ever find yourself in the vicinity of the South Coast casino/hotel, I strongly recommend paying them a visit.
Anyway, aside from some general stress that was all RCI’s fault, I am really enjoying the Grandview. The staff has been really helpful, the room is really pretty, the view is pretty cool, & I look forward to hitting the pool and the gym at least once while I’m here. I do have to remark that the bed has the expected “unattractive hotel bedspread”. Still, I can’t complain when there’s a freaking jacuzzi bathtub not 20 feet away from where I’m writing. Haven’t fired that up yet, but I so totally will.

I think today we’re going to hit the Strip and see all the huge pretty buildings. Unless I mis-read the flyer, the Natural History Museum is there, and I freaking love those kinds of things. So does he, so it’s a really good idea we pay the place a visit. I’m pretty excited about the whole thing.

Now it’s time to get cleaned up, wake the boy-o, and as my google talk sub-title states get “my freaking vacation on”.
Peace!

I will be the first to admit that I have been off the deep end lately. So I was not actually thinking when, earlier today, I pulled any and all notes of interest or personal information off of my profile page. However, upon further consideration I have come to a solid reason as to why it’s a good idea to leave it blank.

That reason is, I prefer not to be yet another willing whore to statistical marketing. Every bit of information that is input here in terms of what one is interested in, what category of things one clings to, the type of profiles one is linked to, is all juicy advertising feedback that you just willingly forked over. I never had a particular issue with standardized testing when I was in grade school (remember that stuff?) with the strong exception of one part: the personal data part. That being all the requested statistical data one was “strongly encouraged” to fill out prior to taking the test. I always had a problem with this procedure. “Why,” I thought to myself in my youth, “do they need to know if i’m white or asian, male or female, if this is a standardized test? It should be based on standards of education, not standards of human types, right?” Well, of course not, how can we continue to compartmentalize people by gender, race and religion in this country unless we do so via proper education and of course proper marketing? There are disadvantages to be had within a free, democratic, capitalist environment.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m a fan of this new wave of contextual advertising sites and blogs and the like. Hell, it’s very likely that it will make me some money as well, in which case I suppose that will make me some kind of statistical whore master, but I’d much rather be the master of this situation than the slave.

I am aware that every single day that goes by, I need things. Things to get my job done, things to stay alive, things because I want things. That isn’t slated to change any time in the near future. This site network is so bloated with advertising that I think it’s safe to say I’ve seen over-fed ticks that were more attractive. A very large percentage of this advertising is absolutely nothing that I want, need, or could be persuaded to buy. The beauty of the internet should be finding what you want, and need, faster than just having a bundle of Madison Avenue folks decide after months of grueling testing what you might want based on the reactions of a handful of people who are presumably just like you. How many times do you not give a shit what commercials are playing on TV? Unless you like making fun of them, my money is on a lot of the time.

And poor The Internet. It was once a paragon of searchable, on-demand information. Now with the advent of dummy sites, multiple sites with marginal differences, splogs, spam, and onmouseOver advertising media (fucking smilies can fuck off), how is it any different from from any of the other boxes that talk at us all day? Radio, papers, magazines, tv, you know, “traditional” media.
Anybody remember the old cartoons where the protagonist was trying to avoid something? Eating, or sleeping or killing some canary? All they would see everywhere would be signs for food, or rest, or roast chicken or something. And it would become a blur of neon signs until they could think of absolutely NOTHING besides that which they wanted to avoid. Traditional media (including billboards and shopfronts) pretty much innundates us with this kind of constant exposure conditioning towards consumption of goods and services. (When they aren’t taking a cue from our lovely government and using the fear tactic.)

This is the part where I get back to the idea at hand. Remember the concept of a searchable, on-demand, useful source of information…what was it called again? The Internet, right. Except for the part where we’re going to have to wait for Internet 2: Because We Fucked it Up Royal in Part One! Just like government, and any actual market for any goods or services, the end product is controlled by those allowed to be in control. In the case of the internet, control of the most visible sites is being left to the same type of people who convince you that Budweiser isn’t canned old people urine every year during the Super Bowl. This, I believe, falls under the category of “Just Fucking Lame”.

Myspace is a really convenient way for all types of marketers to mine for interest-related data on a very large group of people without having to pay for it or talk to anybody. I hate to pay for things, and I hate talking to people a little more every day, so I understand the allure here. How is anyone going to know that you have goods and services available unless you actually get the word out? The short answer is they won’t. In walks advertising to remedy the situation of woeful product anonymity. Yet there are more respectful ways to advertise on the internet without relying on a series of “personalized” pages that look like some kind of crayon box full of reconstituted dog shit and leet. (Note from the author: My current profile set up is hopefully minimized of these characteristics, however I have never been the most color-savvy web developer.)

I do have faith in search engine marketing, if the power-houses of search keep putting their foot down as much as they can about what sites are and are not authorities on keywords. I have faith in contextual advertising to an extent, although I fear the potential for rampant abuse is going to lead to issues with that as well. I would just like to move away from the constant bump-and-grind of the public media, and I was pretty sure that the internet should be able to provide that for me. Two types of sites seriously bother me: those with little control or direction in their actual visible marketing, those too much control over how interests are categorized and turned against the users, and those that fall under both catagories. As long as those type of sites exist, and are wildly popular, I find it hard to believe that the broadcasting medium of the internet will continue to hold much validity. All forms of media have had their novelty period, heyday, public trial, and ultimately have ended up as mistrustful sources of information. Yes, even the Almighty Internet. The cynicism isn’t too deeply ingrained in regards to the internet yet so I do reserve some hope for virtue over profit margin.

Not MySpace though, MySpace was created for the marketers, by the marketers, and unless you know a way to overthrow a dot-com, that’s what it’s here for and how it will stay.

Recommended Reading for those unimpressed by MySpace: http://www.trentl.com/?name=News&file=article&sid=50

http://kevan.org/johari?name=giania

http://kevan.org/nohari?name=gigi