Blue Monday?
By Amy • Jan 21st, 2008 at 6:50 pm • Category: Fnord, PhilosophySo I was having a pretty good day today. Surprisingly good in fact, all things considered. When WHEB had to go and ruin it for me. Again.
This time, it wasn’t the overabundance of sloppy-joe instigating Herpes-Crisps (Godsmack), nor was it a double shot of Nickleback. No, this was something even more asinine. Today, the dj’s announced that, according to world-renowned psychologist Cliff Arnall, Monday, January 21, 2008 is “the most gloomiest day” of the year. Depressing nature of the retarded phrasing aside; none of these conclusions are all too revelatory, and… thanks for reminding me, Asshat.
Here’s what Arnall, an expert in the study of depression concluded, based on some mathematical formula that we’re not privy to.
This time of year produces six [how about 200] factors which lead to feelings of gloom and doom, and all of them converge today [as the cosmos align and Pluto weeps?] to “leave us at our most miserable.” The factors are as follows.
- Christmas Debt (Ok, Sure)
- A Feeling of Monotony after Christmas Cheer has Faded (Christmas Cheer?)
- Broken New Years Resolutions (I hope you knew better than to make any)
- Low Levels of Motivation (Um… This is a Temporary Thing?)
- A Desperate Feeling That You Need to Act to Improve Your Life (Always)
He goes on to offer a couple of insights as to how to combat “Blue Monday.”
1. Stop Whining. It is boring and you are boring. (I feel better already!)
2. Focus on the good things you do have in your life. If one of your limbs does not work, focus on the three that do. (Haha, Cripple.)
Enjoy the rest of your shitty day. But, chin up. Tomorrow the debt/motivation/goal-oriented fairy is due to swoop in and save the day.
Potentially Related posts
Amy is
Email this author | All posts by Amy
He’s full of shit. The most depressing day of the year falls sometime in February, when you are at the point when you think you will never see the sun or feel warm again, and you think winter will never end, and god all this dirty snow is so ugly and will it never end?!
Ahem. I’m not looking forward to next month.