I have dreamed and learned
Last night and well into today has been a flight of extreme fantasy, not all of which was enjoyable, but all of which has left me thinking. Unfortunately I’ve waited too long to write this all down, so some details will inevitably be lost in the rapid cognition thought-shuffling of daily life.
At some point, I woke up and said “Ok, that’s it, no more Howlings before bedtime.” The series of dreams felt like a test. Felt like a warning as well. A test of my mental strength and a warning not to meddle carelessly in affairs which are far larger and more powerful than I have previously taken them to be. It’s true, all throughout the documentary by Poke Runyon, discussing the methods by which they employed the Goetic techniques to summon, and to scry, I (drunkenly) scoffed at the notion of some of the scraping and bowing, and alternately at the idea of binding and domineering these unseen spiritual forces. (It should be noted that while the Goetia is amply available[pdf], I have yet to read the work itself.) While reading Howlings, likewise I took a skeptical attitude towards some of the methodology, considering it to be somewhat overcautious and paranoid. Some have argued that the Goetic (among other) spirits are sovereign beings, and some have argued that these works are exercises in confronting one’s own inner labyrinth. (Think highly aware self-hypnosis and play acting as a form of therapy or mental/spiritual growth, if you will.) Either way, those that have studied these things have preached caution, and some have issued threatening warnings regarding the dangers of treating these things lightly and carelessly.
I have always been a skeptic of sorts, and perhaps a bit overeager and zealous when it comes to the thought of finding proofs to these claims and methods. Last night’s dreams felt like a deeply detailed experience designed to caution me against doing or saying things which may ultimately land me into very hot water.
Yet I digress, these dream logs aren’t intended for me to get into the whys and the wherefores, but to chronicle the dreams themselves for future reference and entertaining reading.
There was a compound, filled with men and women, only semi-sincere aspirants of a teacher of things otherworldly. At one point there was a group of about four, standing around a large copper chalice, all of whom were rubbing a large handful of pennies vigorously against their genitalia. (I believe they were all women, but I can’t say for sure.) Mindless of any danger such an action posed, they had to continue, and in turns, remove one penny from the handful, place it into the chalice, and correctly state how many they had left. The master did not take kindly to mistakes, though to be honest I don’t recall the punishment, other than dragging this particular task on longer. It must have gone on for a very long time, because after a while the pennies were bloody (though I have the distinct impression that at least some of that blood was menstrual). One woman started looking very ill, and was flagging and failing, and eventually collapsed. So exhausted and sick from what she had attempted to do, that despite attempts to revive her, she died. Her head was cut off and placed on a flat surface so everyone could be reminded of her failure. Decay had slowly begun to set in already at this point in the dream, and insect spawn writhed on her features. I distinctly recall one maggot, bright white, the size of a wine bottle cork, humping its way unhurriedly across the flat surface away from the woman’s head. Life goes on, in its own way.
The last I remember of this dream is a somewhat foggy scenario. Men and women had degenerated into naked and uncivilized loners. Somehow none were able to withstand the mental strains of the tests put forth by the elusive master (who at this juncture, could be felt all around but not seen). A woman with short blond hair ran wild eyed through a muddy arena, naked and radiating the fear of the desperate. It wasn’t survivalism, it wasn’t escape, it was only mindlessness. This turn back to primal, thoughtless nature had different effects on different people. A man, clad in some kind of leather harness, and a few others, emerged from behind some indistinct features of the crumbling citadel and grabbed the - now wailing - blonde, pinning her down. With an overwhelming (yet somehow silent) narrator booming “this too is a lesson”, The man let down his harnesses to expose (very pierced) intent. There was a struggle, and then I awoke, wondering what I was to take away from this gruesome tutelage.
Later, I dreamt of a high speed, unmanned space vehicle which shot through our solar system and beyond, exploring at high velocity all those places that man is simply unprepared to go. It was especially fun to watch the spiked seeing eye punch straight through Jupiter, only to get hung up by the gas giant’s gravitational pull on the way out. The atmosphere surrounding the planet was visibly straining to contain the vessel, then it broke away and spirited itself to other portions of the galaxy, with Jupiter no worse for the wear.
Meanwhile, people were busily trying to establish a properly graded surface on which to establish the first moon colony. The entire surface of the moon was grey and rocky, and radiating with blue light. I could not help but question how the equipment was able to putter along at such speeds, without hitting any rocks and getting thrown off the surface (even if only temporarily). I also seem to recall that no one was wearing space suits (apparently they weren’t necessary). I hated it there because I felt the earth was a poor substitute for a night sky companion. Someone informed me that the moon actually had its own, tiny moon, that would zoom by like a comet later if I’d only wait. Then I had to stop an assassin with a revolver, but I don’t really remember much of that.
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