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Look, anyone who knows me can attest to the idea that, I’m probably not the most put-together person on the planet. In fact, my inability to get organized, and my all-star procrastinator status really gives me little credibility when it comes to telling you what to do. However, in the past six months, I’ve been on a campaign to get my shit together– I’ve certainly had failures, but I’ve also had a few successes. I’d like to share with you a few things that I desperately wish someone had told me– before I found out the hard way.

1. Embrace Online Banking

Guess What? Those bills you’ve got piling up aren’t going to pay themselves. You want to know how I know this? About 12 collection-agency letters in six months. I ignored the first few influx’ of these letters- pretended they were junk mail and adopted the attitude, much like a 2 year old hiding under a blanket, that if I can’t see it, it’s not there. Well, 2 year olds are stupid, and collection-agencies aren’t going anywhere.

It was tough to come to terms with it, but, after shelling out $600 for a several months overdue phone bill (plus collection agency fees, and “early account termination fees”), I realized that, holy shit, you really really need to pay your bills. On time. Every month.

So, I set up automatic payments straight from my checking account through my bank’s online banking program. I check my balance every morning so I know where I’m at, and once a week I have automatic deductions taken from my credit-card company, student-loan managers, and savings account. My gym membership is taken automatically on a monthly basis and I don’t have to think about any of it.

2. Make a File

Keep all of your important shit together. I have a Huge three-ring binder outfitted with several dividers and folders labeled with simple, somewhat vague information like: Computer stuff (where I’ll keep OS disks, receipts for hardware, etc.), Money (pay stubs, bank receipts), Bills (statements, payment-plan overviews). Keeping all of your things in one place means you’ll always know exactly where to look when your computer crashes, or you need to dispute a claim to your credit-card company.

3. Cook Some Damn Food

Stop eating out! You’re spending way too much money, and you’re likely eating like shit. Go to the grocery store, try something new, come up with a few specialties and revel in the fact that you’ve got leftovers and you actually know what’s in them! Plus, cooking is fun. It’s a hobby that anybody can get into, and it pays off in spades.

4. Brown-Bag It

Remember that Chicken Parmesan you cooked up last night? Bring it to work with you tomorrow! In fact, when you’re portioning out your plate for dinner, get out a Tupperware and throw some in right then and there. Still too much work? Make a weekly trip to the grocery store and pick up some cheap, non-refrigerated meals and keep them in your desk drawer. For $10-15 a week, you can eat like a king. I recommend Yakisoba (its like ramen, but with cabbage and other veggies), Progresso or Campbell’s Chunky Soups, even Easy Mac. Then, bring a few fruits to round out your meal, and you’re golden on a budget.

5. Enough With the Beer!

OK, this one’s more of a goal. I’m certainly not one to talk… as I consider myself somewhat of a beer snob. However, this snobbery is costing me bucks! Not to mention the serious poundage that a good-beer habit is responsible for. Listen, I’m not going to sit down with a PBR pounder with my dinner (I’ll reserve those for the weekend, thank you very much). I’m going to drink good beer, which is usually going to set me back $8 a six-pack. Not a cheap habit. And, honestly, the fact that I’ve busted two buttons in two weeks, is a sign that my pants are practically begging me to give the beer a rest and sit down to dinner with a nice glass of red Zin instead. Want proof? G, could you stand up for us please? Girl looks great!

6. Stop Shopping!

It sounds so easy. But, I’m an emotional shopper. Tazed at work? I could really use some new make-up or a clearance-shirt (or 6). Fight with the b/f? Maybe I’ll dye my hair. Pfft, who needs men… You get the idea… but when you find yourself heading out to the store with a vengeance- just stop. Don’t go to the outlets with your friend and expect to “just browse.” Stop running to Target any time you need a bottle of conditioner and just get it at the supermarket. Back away from the shoes. It’s simple- if you don’t put yourself in the midst of temptation, you wont buy. Do something productive with your time and breathe a little easier knowing you just saved yourself $40 worth of useless crap.

7. $4 Prescription Plans

It pains me to advocate for Wal-Mart… but I’m gonna do it. Their $4 prescription plan is exceptional– there are hundreds of prescriptions for medications ranging from cholesterol regulators to anti-anxiety meds and everything in between. $4 a month is a lot better than $50, and even if you don’t have insurance, you’ll be able to afford your meds. PS. Target offers a similar program, if you simply can’t bring yourself to patronize Wal-Mart (and who could blame you?)

8. Get Therapy

OK, hear me out. Therapy is not for everyone- but if you’re going through a tough time (whether financially, personally or emotionally) I can’t stress enough the benefits that therapy may have. For me, it gave me confidence, reminded me that I’m not a terrible person, and spurred me on to really take stock of my life- my goals, my financial situation and my emotional status. In fact, seeing a therapist was the catalyst to taking on many of the positive changes I’ve decided to take on. However, if you simply can’t wrap your head around therapy, or you just don’t believe in it– give yourself the next best thing and get your ass moving. Whether that means going to the gym, practicing yoga or going for a walk every day– being active is a motivator in and of itself. It is the natural anti-depressant and it is guaranteed to give you more energy, and to make you feel better about yourself.

9. Freelance

What are you good at? Computers? Cooking? Writing? Sewing? Everyone’s good at something, and finding a way to turn your hobbies into extra cash is a fun and lucrative way to stay on-top of your skills, and finance your weekly wing-night. Offer to patch the holes in your friends’ wardrobes, write for your friends’ blog (thanks G!), help a friend build a website, or cook a weeks worth of freezable meals for your culinarily challenged co-worker. It’ll be fun!

10. Have a Lot of Sex

OK, I’m bragging. Sue me. Having frequent sex with someone you care about is rejuvenating, invigorating, confidence-boosting, and well, fun. It’s even a great economic plan: when you want to go shopping- have sex. When you’ve had a bad day- have sex. When you’re exhausted- have sex. When you’re unmotivated- have sex. To really put some pep in your step: have sex in the morning before work. If you only adopt one of these tips (though, I’d really recommend online banking hehe), bust out that Kama Sutra and have a lot of sex.

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