It’s been a very Twitter-heavy weekend, as previous posts will demonstrate. I had a brief spat with some woman named Amanda Chapel because I had issues with the idea of arguing against the merits of internet culture on the internet. Particularly on such a limited platform such as Twitter. I really need to think and do some research before I discuss that whole situation at length. And I do want to discuss that at length. However, in the interest of being fair I intend to read more of Strumpette and see if I can get a proper bead on the philosophy at work here. At that time, I’ll share the archive of the Twitter conversation, and get into depth on what the internet means to me and what I feel it means to our culture as a whole. More on that later though.

One of the other Twitter discoveries I made this weekend was FlypeClub. I’d been followed (and followed them in return) a little while back, but it seemed to only produce an increased percentage of self-promotional fluff scrolling through my gTalk twitter window. This weekend however I got at least a minor peek behind the curtain and figured out that some other followers I’d picked up were authors and conspirators of this mysterious FlypeClub. For the record, I still have no idea what the deal is with it, but now I’m intrigued instead of annoyed by their updates.

A little basic reading, a little paying attention showed me who all is working on the FlypeClub project. (And I KNOW I’m breaking the first and only rule here, but I can’t help it. There is a reason why, you’ll see.) Not so mysterious after all on one hand, but more mysterious on the other. Who exactly are these guys? What was the draw to make something like this? Why the seemingly aggressive promotion when it appears they don’t really have anything to sell? They do claim to offer Alligator & Python swallowing courses for $20,000 a pop, but that doesn’t strike me as a business plan that would best be supported by intense social outreach. Yet there is something to this band of cheeky irreverents that has captured my attention, and gotten me to really thinking.

I have a love for the obscure, and for the obfuscated, for the inscrutable. Although I confess that this love does not extend to businesses who cannot be buggered to explain who they are and what their services entail. That is the exact opposite of good service and should be frowned upon. This is what got me to thinking when FlypeClub came on my radar. Who the hell are these guys? Were they a business or a set of individuals? What are the rules for marketing in the “social” world if they are a business?

Generally speaking, it is up to me to decide what a thing is, what it is worth, whether or not it is valuable or true. That was the challenge posed to me, more or less, by a mysterious Flyper – who I won’t name unless it’s approved – in regards to FlypeClub. That it is up to ME to decide what it is. I liked that. I appreciated greatly the direct outreach, and I appreciated more the admission that it is in fact up to me (and you, and you, and everybody who won’t read this) to decide “what is FlypeClub”.

Seems to me that this has always been the guiding principle of business, and of life. Experts, professionals, self-appointed social leaders can all tell me exactly what they want me to know. Media and corporations have the things which they feel will be liked by the largest amount of people. The great unwashed mobs of people I see on a day to day basis, and the scores of people who write opinions on the internet also provide information on what there is to like about this, that, and the other thing. That is all fine and dandy. I tend to prefer the opinion of someone experienced with a subject or a product to tell me about that subject or a product, and I always attempt to get opinions from other, ostensibly unbaised sources. Yet the thing that so many people do not seem to grasp is that ultimately it is absolutely, one hundred percent my decision (and yours, and yours, and everybody not reading this) as to what is hip, what is worth buying, and what is true.

Really, it’s always been that way. Influence only goes so far. The task of a business, an organization, a person who wishes attention from many is to do this: provide the public with something they cannot get from anyone else. Or, if they can get the product/service/opinion from someone else, give them very good reason to embrace yours over someone else’s.

This is one of the reasons I signed on to be an affiliate of TorsoPants. Yes, they (technically) sell tshirts. Yes, there are dozens of “witty” tshirt companies abroad, particularly on the internet. But I saw these guys and immediately liked everything about their site and what they had to offer. (For the record I have not yet bought my very own pair of TorsoPants, but I am also pretty broke.) It’s something that everyone needs (clothing) and it’s got a shine to it that no one else really has.

Another fine example of providing something unique is Scarlet Imprint. I have purchased two books from them so far, The Red Goddess, and Howlings. They provide something that no one else does, and they do it well. Their books are well written, and well made (I was expecting much less from such a small press), and they are rare. Not only are they rare (very limited print runs), but they make it very clear that they take their work very seriously, and they are willing to communicate directly with those who would buy from them.

I am a decision making machine, and I am primed by the words and actions of others, but I don’t fire until my internal system of checks and balances has had its say. What kind of decision making machine are you?

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In the very broad strokes that I have always heard, the Christian calendar period referred to as Lent is about giving up things that are bad for you, to spiritually improve yourself by ditching nasty habits, etc. A laudable goal, but for those of us who aren’t Christian, it seems redundant in the light of New Year’s Resolutions, because there simply isn’t the church-based motivations to make it worthwhile.

Thankfully, someone has come up with an alternative: Discardia.
Discardia sounds delightfully like Discordia, and feels as though it has roots there, though it is unclear from the text on the matter whether it is indeed truly Discordian in nature. Either way, it is non-denominational and is strictly for personal growth, rather than personal growth for the sake of a religious precedent.

The premise behind Discardia is very simple.

Discardia is celebrated by getting rid of stuff and ideas you no longer need. It’s about letting go, abdicating from obligation and guilt, being true to the self you are now. Discardia is the time to get rid of things that no longer add value to your life, shed bad habits, let go of emotional baggage and generally lighten your load.

As a person who has a hard time letting go of tchotchkes and knick-knacks and guilt and obligation, this is precisely the kind of regular ritual I could really get behind. It happens multiple times a year, unlike traditional religious cleansing periods, which typically only occur during one day or period of time each year. The founders of this concept were kind enough to provide a calendar by which to prepare yourself.

This provides an opportunity for more than just a “spring cleaning” or a singular religious internal cleansing. It is a chance to inject some much needed clarity into a cluttered, hectic life at multiple times during the year. It’s really like an ultimate lifehack holiday.

Today is the first day of Discardia for this portion of the year. As the moon wanes to the position of new, and as spring draws ever closer, you can shake the stagnant air from your home, the pine needles from your rugs, the catalogues from your bathrooms, and take a nice deep breath.

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Last night the most remarkable series of things happened, resulting in a delightful print out just for you!
In #ormgas (the IRC channel for the OCR internet radio broadcast), Leissi pasted the following -

Notice: This Department requires no physical fitness program: everyone gets enough exercise jumping to conclusions, flying off the handle, running down the boss, knifing friends in the back, dodging responsibility, and pushing their luck.

Struck with inspiration, I decided to make a poster from this material. I also decided that the various cautionary signs from the game Portal, with their wet-floor-sign-guy-in-major-peril quality, were the absolute best to give some graphical window dressing to this wry jab at working life. (I realize the quote is rather old, but I’d forgotten all about it until Leissi was kind enough to remind me of it.)

After several fruitless searches (shocking with the amount of slavering Portal fanatics out there) in the ever-convenient Google Image Search, I finally dug up a panel of Portal’s caution signs. It wasn’t very large so I tried to resize it cleverly, but the end result was still fuzzy. Seeing as this was meant to be a five minute haha on my part, I wasn’t terribly concerned.

I did however take the time to change the saying slightly to make it more apropos to my own current working life. Pleased with myself, I saved a copy as a jpg and slapped it up in #ormgas, and in #ectomo.

I left shortly thereafter, and thought nothing of it, until I came in this morning and checked my gmail. What appeared before my eyes, but a white knight from the depths of #ectomo, Maicro, come to clean up the fuzzy Portal images and raise this snarky little geek joke to the next level of professional subversiveness.

Without further ado, a giant jpg for you to print and share with all the people who fill you with levels of contempt that are at best unhealthy and at worst result in much head explodey.

One million thousand thanks to Leissi and Maicro for their invaluable contributions in the field of snarky, passive-aggressive sign leaving technology. If you have opportunity, comment with links to photos of this particular sheet in action.

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For those not in the know, the herpes references do have a legitimate precedent, namely the origin story of the band Godsmack’s name.
Erna stated in a 1999 interview that “I was making fun of somebody who had a cold sore on his lip and the next day I had one myself and somebody said, ‘It’s a godsmack.’ The name stuck. We were aware of the Alice in Chains song but didn’t really think much about it. It’s a cool song and the name had meaning for us”. ~via wikipedia

They’re right. I’ve been smacked in the face by herpes crisps one (5,000) too many times. Now, I lie, drenched in a puddle of mud, SULLen and covered in sloppy joe. [Crawling in my Skin.] Through the mess, I’m screaming for the relief that only Shoutcast can afford.

How will I drag myself through the moist, oozing slit that is Monday without a little Stevie Ray Vaughn to carry me along? How shall I adequately pay homage to the upcoming dreams of Ether-and-Sour that Friday afternoon promises, without a little chair-dance-party-inducing DP? Without you and your [shoutcast] box, how would I have ever discovered the joys of Party Fun Action Committee and Cocorosie?

Admittedly, I’m not always logged on, but the solace that Shoutcast’s presence affords is the only thing that keeps me from tearing the face off of the greyface drones who play 3 Doors Down and Nickelback on the community radio for all of our listening pleasure. Please G. Reconsider. If not for the morale of your fellow comrades, do it to prevent the spread of herpes in the workplace.

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Markoff Chaney would be so very proud.

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Woe and sadness unto you, cubicle drone. An entire blog dedicated to snapshots of tons of different companies. Mainly young, hip, internet-based companies on top of it.

Take a good look around you. Do a quick inventory of your surroundings.
Do they include any or all of the following:

1. A full wall, hand-painted mural
2. Some manner of arcade cabinet or gaming table
3. “Alternative” or mainly ergonomic furniture
4. Pets, not counting fish, rocks, or plants
5. As-yet-to-be-finished sections, or furniture that is not yet assembled
6. A large colorful logo that isn’t your neighbor’s favorite sports team banner

If you said “no” to all of the following, it is entirely possible that you work for a stuffy, old-school, dead-end company. If this is a concern, it is highly advisable that your reorganize your life goals and hop to it. That house in Bali won’t build itself, bucko.

That said, go check out some of these pictures, seriously. If that doesn’t inspire you to improve your work life, what will?

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gawkermedia – like crack
I ate a hot pocket earlier
it collapsed part of my soul
cult leadership is tough with so many alternatives to be had.
I’m contemplating talking about a serious subject
that came to mind through a dubious link
conspiracy theory is weird, the truth is usually weirder.
Hey how many five year olds can you beat up? No really.
oh and don’t bother with the booze test. broke every time I tried it.

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Behold the philosophical wonders that unfold when you find everything to do but update!

G: you know what’s a funny word? “crunk”
kittymcgee: agreed
why was it invented?
G: as a descriptive term for being various kinds of loaded, instead of just drunk, is my assumption
kittymcgee: true….but what does the c stand for?
cocaine drunk?
kittymcgee: aha!
G: I always assumed it was “crazy drunk”

And in a slightly more “philosophical” vein….

me: The two rules for success are:
1. Never tell them everything you know.
pick007: yay!
uhm,
yay!
me: http://web.maths.unsw.edu.au/~jim/selfref.html
pick007: before i open this, is it a link to the second rule, or is it a lnading page of icons that make fun of me etc…
me: tsk tsk
would I make fun of you?
pick007: ok, hold on
yes!
i am your underling,
me: well that doesn’t mean I have to make fun of you
pick007: well it doesnt mean you wont either!
me: we’re getting into a bit of a loop here
pick007: maybe im just drawing on harsh experiences, and I SHOULD BE PRAYING AND GIVIING THANKS THAT I HAVE A NEW AND MORE UNDERSTANDING (goddamn caps lock) nurturing cult leader
me: Yes I’m much more forgiving and kindly than your average brainwashing group alpha
pick007: yes! you must be punished! now drink that keg cup! and no sipping, take it down!
me: At least until the proper initiation starts, but the best way to break free of previous imprints to make room for new imprints and ways of thoughts is through shock, and sometimes that means violence and debasement
pick007: see thats what i was expecting, harsh debasement, and otherwise initiation
me: I’m experimental. The traditionalist ways of fear, mystery, and sometimes bloodshed WORK, but I question their necessity
pick007: …and the only way to know for sure is to practice them, and take in the effects
me: Consider the zen roshi, who beats the pupil on the head with his staff, sometimes for no reason at all. it works, but is there another way?
pick007: no.
me: Destruction of the ego results in rebirth into a fresher mindstate, but there’s got to be a safer way
pick007: i suppose one could ask: if there were another way, how would one still valiate their roshidity
me: well the pupil eventually becomes the master, and despite the paradigm-breaking nature of their learning, they may still take on some prorgramming and mannerisms of those who guided them
pick007: yes. for paradigm breaking itself is a structured paradigm, which is even desirable for human purposes, I mean, purposes
but without stick whacking, would they still be roshi?
or are they roshi because they whack stick?
on a related note: would investiagtion of Godel’s theorem provide more insight into how to define a self reference joke? for a minute, I would have said “i get it” but upon further reading, I question it now, as there seem to be jokes which, uhm, well, for lack of a better term, “dont reference themselves”. or the people telling them.
would possibly either of the words: ironic, or oxymoronic appear in its definition? or for that matter, any of the “…ronic” words?
me: chronic?
pick007: exactly
me: I would say the most amusing, directly self-referential “joke” in there is the Recursive loop statement
pick007: i like that one
i like them all, and i think theyre all funny.
it was just the name i questioned mostly for examples like: anyone who sees apsychiatrist…
me: mm
yes
pick007: yes you agree? or yes is the answer? like 42?
me: yes I agree
on a somewhat side, but still related note, theoretical math is downright sexy
pick007: oh my god yes!
that goes without…
me: :3
I wonder if anybody’s done a shirt that says I <3 Quantum Mechanics
maybe Quantum Theory would be better
pick007: yea, or, ” I 2x= y,z <{3.1} quantum theory
?
you should do it
but i want 3% royalties for giving you the encouragement and support to live your dreams
so, I cam up with 3 self reference jokes, and i want you to tell me what you think, which one's your favorite, and if any of them fits the theme better. ready? a) bob sagat
b) bob sagat is.
c) bob sagat is not.
me: ahahaha
wtf
pick007: dammit. i was afraid youd say that.
ok, what about, d) Bob Sagat is funny.
me: well that’s just all lies

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This group caught my eye as I was researching Cocorosie. Although this group steers far more towards the sensibilities of My Bloody Valentine and Sonic Youth than Cocorosie. It’s pleasant, uses harmonious vocals and delicious guitar distortion. I’m no technical expert, but I know what I like and this group passes all checks! (Plus, the 23 reference tickles my recent fancy in all things Discordia.)

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“We need more laws with stiffer penalties to rid our community of drugs,”

Says an innocent pawn of Eris. To be sure, these laws make smuggling and selling and buying drugs more risky. That, in turn, drives up their prices – thus making them more profitable. So more money and work goes into expanding the market for the contraband – in keeping with the Law of Eristic Escalation.

Or, as the Taoist sage Chuang Tzu simply said:

“The more laws there are, the more crime there is.”

(Identification and elucidation of anerisms is a favorite pastime of politically conscious Discordians – who note that the whole text of my “Epistle to the Paranoids” on page 00069 is a psychological anerism. Goddess punished me for it, about five years later, by turning me into a paranoid myself. A conspiracy helped Her.
As of this writing, I am still paranoid – according to my friends.) (Or are they my enemies?)

Proliferation of crime in the wake of multiplication of laws is more than a matter of expanded definition. Governments are impositions of order designed to discourage theft and killing. But they wind up taking more in taxes than all the freelance crooks around could steal. Their wars involve more killing than all the meanest toughs and hoodlums can hope to rival.

– Source: Principa Discordia

Formulate your own opinions.

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