Meaningless Drivel: Coffee Rant
I believe it was Dorothy Parker who once said “What fresh hell is this?”
This was my thought as well when I realized that there are now two awful, coffee-scorching machines of evil in the office now. One of which is dedicated to the dubious purpose of “flavored coffee”.
As a caveat to my particular derisive rant: At this point in my life, I have become more than a minor coffee snob. I lecture people on why it is not appropriate to store coffee in the freezer, among other common coffee faux pas that I won’t get into here for the sake of brevity and politeness.
Hypocritically, I have been known to drink coffee from gas stations, restaurants who don’t care about their coffee, and the burnt atrocity that is the office coffee.
So why then do I groan and sigh heavily at the introduction of another abomination of the Elder Gods being set into motion in my place of work to churn out caffinated liquids?
“Flavored coffee”
The pungent reek of this crime against nature’s most blissful jump start brew wafts into my area of the office, deceptively pleasant at first, souring into an aroma which I can only think to describe as what candy must be like in the darkest depths of Dante’s Inferno. It is intensely unsatisfactory state of affairs and I fear that my only hope for sanity in the face of what will surely be a daily affront to my olfactory will be willful densensitization. Kind of like learning to ignore the stench of a primate habitat while on a trip to the zoo.
Ah well, c’est la guerre, and as such I must soldier on as bravely as I can.
In other news, please take a moment to visit the newly updated davepasternak.org.
