Good morning, shoppers. As usual December has rolled around which of course gives us the lovely sentimental holiday known as Christmas. And as we all know one of the many traditions that is a part of the spirit of Christmas that isn’t mass consumerism is movies. The kind that are sweet, loving, caring. the kind of movies that give you hope, that warm tingly feeling in your stomach like hot cocoa after playing in the snow. What the fuck are you doing reading this then? Although I’m not entirely off on that last part, the movie I’m about to review can leave a tiny warm feeling in your stomach, the catch is it’ll be a bullet hole. For those unaware, last Friday on December 5 the sequel (kinda) to the 2004 movie “The Punisher” was released. “Punisher: War Zone” I had been looking forward to for quite sometime since I saw the trailer. I saw the first one with Thomas Jane and enjoyed it (didn’t wow me but as a movie it was good.) When I heard that Jane and the director had bailed out I became skeptical as to who would take over. Came to find out it was Lexi Alexander and thought it was a brilliant pick after seeing her previous movie “Green Street Hooligans“. Then when I found out Ray Stevenson, an Irish actor I’d never heard of, was going to take over the role of Frank Castle and discovered that he looked JUST LIKE him I was rooting for it full steam.

The film takes place in New York City, where arguably many criminal minds reside. Castle has already made his presence as The Punisher well known to those in the criminal underworld who fear and members of the judicial system who envy him. It kicks off with Castle in his safe house watching a news broadcast about an infamous aging mob boss skating on serious charges due to a missing witness. Immediately vengeance is exacted by The Punisher on the mob family with the exception of the boss’ nephew, Billy Russoti (played by Dominic West) who escapes his wrath momentarily. The Punisher later follows him to a recycling plant which serves as a front to the crime family, which is being monitored by the FBI. A war begins inside the plant causing Russoti to fall into a pit of glass bottles which are waiting to be broken down by large grinders… to only be activated by Castle. Not killing him but only horribly disfiguring him turning him into his arch nemesis Jigsaw. In the midst of the lead-based melee Castle kills and undercover FBI agent in the line of duty. Which in comes his family featuring wife Angela Donatelli (Julie Benz) and daughter Grace (Stephanie Janusauskas) that in quick succession become a priority for Jigsaw when a large amount of money comes up missing from the family fund, making their safety a number one priority for Castle after accidentally murdering Donatelli. With the assistance of his friend Microchip (played by Wayne Knight, more commonly known as Newman. Yes, Newman is The Punisher’s friend) they go out to protect the Donatelli’s and take down Jigsaw with an arsenal behind them and in front of them.

One of the things I loved about Stevenson as The Punisher was the fact that he embodied the comic book version of Frank Castle from the looks down to his demeanor, whereas Tom Jane who was Frank Castle if he were a stiffly bitch-like overactor (“You mean Tobey Maquire? The gay monk that shoots webs?”). My issue with Jane was he did an okay job playing The Punisher, but he wasn’t being The Punisher. The Punisher is a man who shows no mercy, no restraint, and is a true soldier when it comes to the war on crime. And in a war nobody, especially the enemy, comes out clean or generally in one piece. In this version of the war the enemies of hundreds turn into thousands from the blood-curdling violence. To say that there are a few head removals in this movie is to say that flowers grow from the ground. All the moments of violence you wished were in the previous one, it all got thrown into this wagon, set on fire and launched from a catapult. Another noteworthy item about this movie is the fact that they were more true to the origins of The Punisher. The Tom Jane version he was an FBI agent who was involved in the killing of a money launderer during a sting operation, thus him and his family (all members of his family, not just his wife and son) was killed for retaliation. Bullshit. How The Punisher came to be in the comics was how it was mentioned in the movie, his family (mother, son and DAUGHTER) witness a gangland execution while on a picnic and are killed shortly after. Also he was an FBI agent with Special Forces training as Tom Jane, appropriately Stevenson was a military instructor as he originally was which is more prominent in the character archetype that is The Punisher.

As for Lexi Alexander’s take at The Punisher I truly enjoyed and wasn’t disappointed in the least. Clearly she referenced the comics for the storyline and it’s look, which is very dark contrast and also quite colorful at the same time. Kinda had a very nostalgic, ’80s feel from the way it was shot and also from a lot of the production design. They also included some references in some of the backgrounds as well, the one that stands out the most is there’s a big shootout that takes place at the end in a place called the Bradstreet Hotel, which is a reference to Tim Bradstreet (EXAMPLES) who did the cover art for the comics for quite a long time. And according to an article that there were many instances of The Punisher skull in the background, sometimes just as a fluke (article.) Comic book fan or not I highly recommend seeing this if you’re looking for a good ol’ fashion movie with a lot of violence in it. Until next time, keep making shit.

=Sketch/Ed

Amazon Links
Punisher Vol. 1: Welcome Back, Frank
Punisher MAX Vol. 1: In The Beginning
Punisher: War Zone Official Soundtrack (featuring Slipknot, Seether, and Rob Zombie)
Punisher “Well Suited” Shirt (a black shirt with his new armor)

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Don’t get me wrong, I do love my job, and I am sure that the people at Valleywag, Wonkette, Gawker, Gizmodo, and Defamer all have to work very hard. Still, with this disclosure of the new pay scale for 2008, I can’t help but be ridiculously jealous. Who wouldn’t want to get paid money in buckets for coming up with the hottest dish? I had a flash in the pan when I got that inside tip on the Rackspace situation, even if it turned out to be a bit off. (The article should be accurate overall, or at least provide sources to the final, real scenario.)

Oh well. Maybe some day this blog will fall into an update cycle and I can stop dreaming about making money for writing on the internet, and actually start doing it. Does anybody have any good books or blogs to recommend for achieving such a goal? Or would anyone with insight on the matter like to help by writing about experiences writing on the internet? It would be a lot of fun to interview someone who has made a living from strictly internet-generated revenues.

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