RKNet Blog... Thing

I suppose it goes without saying that I am, overall disappointed and disgusted in the United States media. However, the blatant negligence on one particular issue has me outraged: on Friday, September 26th a radical, anti-Islamic group in perpetrated a terrorist attack against more than 30 children at the Islamic Society of Greater Dayton, a mosque in Dayton Ohio. An unknown gas described as a “chemical irritant” was sprayed into the window of the daycare center at the Mosque during the Ramadan ceremonies.

The attack came just days after thousands of copies of the anti-Muslim “documentary” Obsession, was distributed to millions of voters in across the country’s swing states. The DVD’s were inserted in major newspapers (why the fuck not?), and distributed my mail to residents of Ohio.

The release of this video, by the Clarion Fund (a non-profit organization whose mission is to “educate Americans on issues of national security,” and whose primary focus is on the “most urgent threat of radical Islam”) is timely - with elections in just 5 weeks and national security a hot-button issue.

You might be interested to learn that there’s a “presidential campaign edition” of the Obsession DVD, which carries the endorsement of the chair of the counter-terrorism department of the U.S. Naval War College. The Patriot News of Harrisburg, PA ran a story stating that the Clarion Fund web-site ran pro-McCain literature before attracting notice and subsequently being removed. Additionally, as reported by NPR, one of the major promoters of the DVD is Joe Wierzbicki who is active in two anti-Obama political action committees.

Now, bear with me. I’m not saying that John McCain was behind the distribution of this video, nor am I suggesting that the McCain camp is in any way responsible for these disgusting actions. What I am suggesting, however, is that EVEN with potential ties to a presidential candidate, America does not care about terrorism against Muslims. The media is more interested in covering the new fashion trends sparked by America’s favorite “milf” (of course I’m talking about Sarah Palin’s now famous rimless glasses).

You can bet your ass if this had been an attack on an Ohio church, for example, the media would be all over it like my boss on Sarah Palin, proclaiming (with little or no basis in reality) another Islamic attack on America. However, the story has gotten little exposure in the mainstream media as of yet. What gives? Why isn’t this story receiving more coverage? Muslims in America are one of two things: feared or ignored. This media blackout has got to stop.

A clear and flagrant disrespect for all things was extruded from the two young men chatting back and forth on the mostly empty train car and left the air palpably unclean. Crisp suits, slick and greasy hair, shifty bright eyes, and utter animal stupidity were readily apparent upon a quick glance. Typical upper-class white boys with no sense of purpose beyond where their dicks will be by the end of the night or who they can roll under the bus to get the next raise. No love except the long-since-abandoned love for mother, and a lust for money and the status associated with it that they assume is love.
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Wound and Infection Treatment Stories #1

Tales written for discerning young ladies with a keen admiration of the manliness of the male half of the species, this volume deals with heart-pounding tales of men performing stunning feats of self-surgery and suffering such injuries as would surely destroy men of lesser manliness. Yet never fear! For these manly men always get the better of every trial and tribulation that comes their way! Read on for more exciting stories of the manliness of men!

Mark was a willowy, handsome young lad, with shoulder length flaxen hair which he brushed into his pale, rosy-cheeked face often to cover his sparkling, glassy blue eyes in impish defiance of social mores.

One fine summer’s day he sat on his back porch, clad in his favorite jean shorts. This in and of itself was nothing significant. Yet the story behind his reason for sitting thus when there was action, adventure and, yes, even danger to be had out in the wide world is indeed a stirring tale.

Being as clever and crafty as he was, Mark had made these shorts himself when his favorite pants finally ripped so significantly that his girlfriend at the time had insisted with the venom only a lifelong student of modern fashions could that he do away with them. Yet young Mark would not be denied pants so well-worn that they had become something akin to a companion. Indeed, many was the week which had passed without him parting with them long enough even to wash them. He simply couldn’t bear to part with these pants! No, this was a man of deep concerns in his life who simply would not give up the familiar comforts of the threadbare pockets, nor the subtle sophistication which came with the various inked designs which turned the faded denim into a black and blue patina which echoed his triumphant past’s loves, hopes, and outstanding feats of stunning bravery. It was as grave a sin as asking an honored crusader to part with the finely wrought chain mail which had saved him from savage and ignominious death through countless battles with fierce and pitiless Moors and Turks!

So passionate had our young Mark been when confronted with the possibility of losing this treasure, he had snatched up a sizable blade from the kitchen counter in heated desire for swift yet just resolution to this disgraceful feud between aesthetic schools of thought, and with such fervor did he hack away at the offending lower portion of his beloved jeans that it caused him several injuries. Indeed, he was not mindful of such lacerations! An impassioned and bold man such as this could have no room for outward manifestations of pain when there was a battle of wit and craft at hand.

So deep was his anguish at the mutilation of this jewel of his possessions that he hurled the remnants of the pants - along with the now crimson-stained blade - as far as his slim, tight-muscled arms could manage with a pained howl escaping his chest. Regrettably his then-girlfriend hadn’t the presence of mind to clear herself from the path of the flying objects, and suffered a nasty shock as sharpened metal pierced the drywall beside her head.

What woman can understand the true nature of such manly displays, when the depth of feeling must manifest itself in a true man’s course of action? Few can, and alas this was the last he ever saw of or heard from that young lady. Indeed, though he had won a victory over an intractable situation, she simply couldn’t understand the depth of his sincere heartbreak, nor his truer, sentimental nature. In his woeful mourning over losing both his love interest and a significant portion of his most treasured pants, he neglected to care for himself and the injuries he sustained during the confrontation.

As a result, he found himself sitting on the back porch of his home in a grim and pensive state. He had moments before prepared himself for the task which lay before him in that golden afternoon. The slanting sunlight pierced the smoky air around him and cast a beam better than a surgeon’s lamp on the site of his concern. One of the the wounds he had sustained during his heart wrenching episode of confrontational tailoring had taken a turn for the worse. Such a strong believer in independence was he that Mark was not employed and could not provide the sum necessary to visit a trained medical professional. Nor did he believe in such ridiculousness. As a true student of manliness he felt strongly that anything which could be accomplished by his own hand should be! Oft was he praised for such, and oft chided by those who did not understand. Nevertheless he was prepared for the task ahead of him. His anesthetic of choice was taking hold, calming him adequately for the work ahead.

The wound in question was a clean slice whose depth had allowed all manner of dirt in, and despite having been liberally (albeit indirectly and not deliberately) splashed with cleansing alcohol during the last two weeks it was now a very angry shade of red. The protective layer of dried blood was flecked with dirt and a clear fluid leaked from beneath it with only the slightest pressure. If it was painful to look at, it was surely more painful to actually have and feel, yet young Mark showed no pain or fear. With a trusty pocket knife in hand, he paused only once to take a deep breath and hold it in before exhaling in a great rush. A sagely expression came over him, making his heavy-lidded eyes seem cloudy and distant. With a dazzling quickness he sliced open the hardened surface of his grave injury and Oh! what happened then! A rush of milky fluid rushed forth, gleaming wetly under the light of the afternoon sun. Unfazed by such Mark quickly wiped it away and proceeded to squeeze with the all the somber detachment of a true warrior. Once the rupture in his smooth skin was running with the pure crimson of a clean cut, he wiped his hands off on the comforting cloth of his shortened jeans and simply sat. Clearly this quiet contemplation was his way of cleansing his spirit as well as the site of his bodily harm.

His phone rang and with all the unhurried grace of a seasoned general, Mark reached in his pocket, saw that the name on the phone simply said “Cunty Whore That Dumped Me” and thumbed the silencer with unperturbed ease.

This concludes our first installment of Heart-Pounding Tales of The Manliness of Men Vol. 1: Wound and Infection Treatment Stories! Won’t you join us next time for more thrilling, fascinating and stirring tales of manly men and their aplomb in the face of mortal wounding and dire infections?

It’s a two for one special! Come for the paraphrasing of a pretty funny BBC article, and stay for the hook up on ancient cannabis usage!

I happened to pop my head into the ectochat and what to my wondering eyes did appear but a BBC article link!

Upon following it I discovered that this story was indeed lol-worthy as had been indicated.

A rather dedicated but less-than-thorough customs official at Japan’s Narita airport hid a 142 gram baggie of weed into the side pocket of a traveller’s suitcase. The goal was to test the sniffer dogs in a real-life training exercise.

The dogs, however, failed their exercise by not detecting the baggie at all. To make matters worse, the official who hid the 142 gram (that’s 5 ounces for those not familiar with metric) bag couldn’t remember in which suitcase he’d hidden the weed!

That’s right, some lucky schmuck walked out of Narita airport with 5 ounces of free marijuana! Awesome right? Not really, when you consider Japan has rather strict laws against possession which could net this traveller a prison sentence. Officials admitted their mistake and are encouraging the person who got the baggie to come forward in order to avoid unnecessary legal troubles.

In my search for more specifics about the laws, I came across a really interesting history of cannabis, beginning with its place in the ancient world. Which is admittedly far more entertaining than the original BBC story I mentioned. After discussing the knowledge - or lack thereof - by the Greeks, and the ancient Japanese and Indians, it moves on to an entire passage on the history of cannabis in the Arab world.

One of the most fascinating ways to explore the ancient world, I think, is to track a substance or supply through the ages. It brings to light ancient trade routes, how information was shared, which cultures were accepting of new things and which closed themselves off. Following marijuana in such a way is a two fold path. On the one hand you get to see which cultures adapted the plant for use as hemp fibers, and how as a valuable supply the plant travelled the world. You also get to track its history when grown and used as a psychoactive substance, and the attitudes of the cultures which were aware of those properties.

All of that and much, much more at druglibrary.org. If you’re someone who visits Erowid frequently for reference on drug-related matters, I might suggest adding this to your repertoire also.

mathiasx Ernest Hemingway does not cash in on internet memes. He creates them. You ever hear of mudkipz? Yeah, that was him.

Via #ectomo on EFNet. (Come say hi!) ~Ectomo

• @bloggersblog hear hear, viva la literature! #
• Gah. I wake up to an internet fight over twitter. that’s like waking up & walking into a bar argument #
• pro baseball? overpaid children. for most people, the local bar owner is more personally important. #
• @chrisgarrett huh. we were just talking about ALICE yesterday. I heard she was a bitch. looks like it fits your theory #
• @chrisgarrett it goes back to at least the 19th http://tinyurl.com/3b2s96 #
• When I read about the internet being an instrument for social destruction I think "good, there’s a lot of cleaning up to do" #
• @chrisgarrett omg, no wonder you’re so up in arms, these strumpette people can kiss my ass. paranoids. #
• Riddle me this: how can you espouse your negative opinions about the internet on the internet, and expect any respect? #
• I’m not so sure that a luddite, pro-expert, pro-professional should be arguing on twitter. it screams hypocrite #
• @chrisgarrett you have to be published on dead trees or harass someone who’s been on tv to be pro, duh #

Editor’s note: man I was a twitter whore today. cut for length.
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In this mix, for your listening pleasure, I thought I’d slow things down, and stretch things out a little. Kind of get you all in the mood for some late night philosophy and spooning. I’m too cheap to ply all of you with booze so I thought I’d make you a mix tape, kind of give you a little something to ruminate on before I discuss the merits of an open view of love in this century and bum drinks off you all night. Hope that’s cool, ’cause we’re totally friends right broham?

Anyway, the background image for this tape is Sisters G from Gatochy’s flickr stream. I can think of no nicer image to go with the theme of “everything is better in pairs”. Except for maybe some extra-adorable mittens, but it’s Spring now and no more of THAT! Anyway, for the sake of not writing all over the lovely ladies’ faces, I just titled the tape “Pairs”.

Pairs are exactly what you’ll get on this tape. Let’s explore the contents, shall we?

1. Jesus and Mary Chain - April Skies
• I listened to this song the other day on the way to work and it improved my mood like nothing else could at that very moment. Music to soothe the savage neurotic.
2. Jesus and Mary Chain - Darklands
• The second J&MC track is one of my favorites. “I wanna move, I wanna go, oh I wanna go, do-do-de-do-do-doo…”
3. Donovan - There is a Mountain
• Heard this on the radio the other night and thought “WOW, Donovan was on a lot of drugs“. Pure listening enjoyment, here.
4. Donovan - Epistle to Dippy
• I went with one I’m unfamiliar with, to avoid the folly of ignoring deep tracks. It’s got a bit of a Velvet Underground feel. Check the pedigree though!
5. Jonathan Richman - Satisfied Mind
• I chose this track because it’s a classic (1955 by Porter Wagoner), and Richman’s treatment of it is a great introduction to his style.
6. Jonathan Richman - Springtime in New York
• Truth be told, all I can think of when I read this is Stephen King’s The Wastelands. It’s all those dreams about NYC they have.
7. Cocorosie - By Your Side
• Takes a helluva woman to offer to wear someone’s black eyes. I love the way they layer sounds.
8. Cocorosie - Butterscotch
• Why DOES butterscotch taste so good? Dig the sweet singing and electronic rooster noises.
9. Harry Nilsson - You’re Breaking My Heart
• The guy who wrote “one is the lonliest number” says fuck. Several times. AWESOME.
10. Harry Nilsson - Moonbeam Song
• From the sounds of this song, you can see where he fits with Richman and Donovan. Rich metaphor paired with a bare-hearted, literal approach combine for maximum enjoyment.
11. Jeff Tweedy - California Stars
• Just Jeff and the guitar singing a lovely tune from Mermaid Avenue that was originally penned by Woody Guthrie.
12. Wilco - Jesus, Etc.
• Rounding out this mix is Jeff with the rest of his usual band, Wilco, in a tune off of Yankee Hotel Foxtrot. The opening violin reminds me of Yoshi’s Island.

I hope you all enjoy this! What are some of your favorite pairs of songs?

Now go read some James Joyce and get drunk!

Then after you’re drunk, read some of the dirty letters he wrote to his lady. Ooh la la!

This message inspired by: Shelfari and the urge to get drunk.

Via Sacred Texts and grow-a-brain: The entirety of Sir Thomas Malory’s Le Morte d’Arthur available on the internet.

Yes it is broken up into twenty one “books”, as originally published by William Caxton in 1485, but don’t let that scare you. Each of these books contains several chapters, which all appear rather short, and come with descriptions.

Unfortunately, there doesn’t appear to be a handy PDF version here, but with the narrow, plain text formatting, it should be accessible from any mobile internet reader you fancy.

The American Society of Magazine Editors over at magazine.org have picked their favorite covers of 2007. The seven categories looked at overall cover qualities, cover specifics, and industry types. There are some doozies, and Stephen Colbert made it on the list three times with his appearences on the cover of Wired and GQ.

Most of the choices seem sensible, but the Service and Fashion covers strike me as somewhat uninspired.

My personal favorite?