RKNet Blog... Thing

Ordinarily, when I do a mixwit tape, I don’t just run with one artist, but I was listening to some Jonathan Richman and I discovered that I just couldn’t help but share my love for this inventive storyteller, musician, and big-hearted guy.

He is probably best known for his work with his first band, The Modern Lovers. He formed this band in late 60s, early 70s near Boston, Massachusetts.

His style is heavily influenced by his love for the Velvet Underground (another favorite of mine), and their stripped down, all-out, intense music.

But enough preamble! The music is what matters.

1. New Kind of Neighborhood
• An entertaining story about encountering a, well, new kind of neighborhood. The kind where people are free and happy. Not in that “we’ve thrown off the government” protest way, but in the way that suggests really encountering a different, close-knit community. Richman’s approach to lyrics is insightful and touching on a level that should really appeal to all but the most hardened cynics.
2. I Was Dancing in the Lesbian Bar
• Caution: potential ear worm! I have had the hook from this song stuck in my head more than once. Another entertaining tale about a night out on the town, and how much more fun it is to be able to just get up and dance.
3. New England
• As a New England native, and being the kind of guy he is, my guess is he just couldn’t resist talking up the area he calls home. Particularly relevant to me, as I’ve lived in New England myself for over ten years now!
4. You’re Crazy for Taking the Bus
• Might be crazy, but again his poetic observation doesn’t fail to really capture the essence of the journey, and strike a chord with anyone who has had a similar experience.
5. I’m Straight
• Not a reference to sexual orientation, but an inference that he can provide more engaging company than the competition for the object of his affections.
6. Satisfied Mind
• The first of 3 covers tacked onto this unique sampler. It also happens to be a favorite song of mine.
7. Back in the USA
• According to the intro to this track, this is originally a Chuck Berry song. So classic, and I love the background vocal harmonies. Also, check out that guitar sound. WHEEEEEW. I simply haven’t the words for it.
8. 96 Tears
• Originally by ? and the Mysterians. I love the gritty, haughty nature of the song, and the Modern Lovers (and Richman) really give it the treatment it deserves. You can also feel some serious Velvet Underground live recording sensibilities oozing through this track.

Enjoy!

The bathroom was a terrible place to be. All the stall doors were slightly ajar and the terrible placement of the typical office fluorescent lighting gave the shadows life that they certainly wouldn’t have possessed on their own. I kept turning back in terror from what I assumed was a malevolent face in the handicapped stall. The wall by the sink provided me something to look at to occupy my mind, but this too became a source of vile fascination. Whether the talk was all in my mind or if there was someone there I do not know. Kindly and reassuring it spoke to me of demons, and angels, and paths to power sometimes being fraught with dangerous-looking things. There was no need to worry though of course, not if you were prepared.
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Wound and Infection Treatment Stories #1

Tales written for discerning young ladies with a keen admiration of the manliness of the male half of the species, this volume deals with heart-pounding tales of men performing stunning feats of self-surgery and suffering such injuries as would surely destroy men of lesser manliness. Yet never fear! For these manly men always get the better of every trial and tribulation that comes their way! Read on for more exciting stories of the manliness of men!

Mark was a willowy, handsome young lad, with shoulder length flaxen hair which he brushed into his pale, rosy-cheeked face often to cover his sparkling, glassy blue eyes in impish defiance of social mores.

One fine summer’s day he sat on his back porch, clad in his favorite jean shorts. This in and of itself was nothing significant. Yet the story behind his reason for sitting thus when there was action, adventure and, yes, even danger to be had out in the wide world is indeed a stirring tale.

Being as clever and crafty as he was, Mark had made these shorts himself when his favorite pants finally ripped so significantly that his girlfriend at the time had insisted with the venom only a lifelong student of modern fashions could that he do away with them. Yet young Mark would not be denied pants so well-worn that they had become something akin to a companion. Indeed, many was the week which had passed without him parting with them long enough even to wash them. He simply couldn’t bear to part with these pants! No, this was a man of deep concerns in his life who simply would not give up the familiar comforts of the threadbare pockets, nor the subtle sophistication which came with the various inked designs which turned the faded denim into a black and blue patina which echoed his triumphant past’s loves, hopes, and outstanding feats of stunning bravery. It was as grave a sin as asking an honored crusader to part with the finely wrought chain mail which had saved him from savage and ignominious death through countless battles with fierce and pitiless Moors and Turks!

So passionate had our young Mark been when confronted with the possibility of losing this treasure, he had snatched up a sizable blade from the kitchen counter in heated desire for swift yet just resolution to this disgraceful feud between aesthetic schools of thought, and with such fervor did he hack away at the offending lower portion of his beloved jeans that it caused him several injuries. Indeed, he was not mindful of such lacerations! An impassioned and bold man such as this could have no room for outward manifestations of pain when there was a battle of wit and craft at hand.

So deep was his anguish at the mutilation of this jewel of his possessions that he hurled the remnants of the pants - along with the now crimson-stained blade - as far as his slim, tight-muscled arms could manage with a pained howl escaping his chest. Regrettably his then-girlfriend hadn’t the presence of mind to clear herself from the path of the flying objects, and suffered a nasty shock as sharpened metal pierced the drywall beside her head.

What woman can understand the true nature of such manly displays, when the depth of feeling must manifest itself in a true man’s course of action? Few can, and alas this was the last he ever saw of or heard from that young lady. Indeed, though he had won a victory over an intractable situation, she simply couldn’t understand the depth of his sincere heartbreak, nor his truer, sentimental nature. In his woeful mourning over losing both his love interest and a significant portion of his most treasured pants, he neglected to care for himself and the injuries he sustained during the confrontation.

As a result, he found himself sitting on the back porch of his home in a grim and pensive state. He had moments before prepared himself for the task which lay before him in that golden afternoon. The slanting sunlight pierced the smoky air around him and cast a beam better than a surgeon’s lamp on the site of his concern. One of the the wounds he had sustained during his heart wrenching episode of confrontational tailoring had taken a turn for the worse. Such a strong believer in independence was he that Mark was not employed and could not provide the sum necessary to visit a trained medical professional. Nor did he believe in such ridiculousness. As a true student of manliness he felt strongly that anything which could be accomplished by his own hand should be! Oft was he praised for such, and oft chided by those who did not understand. Nevertheless he was prepared for the task ahead of him. His anesthetic of choice was taking hold, calming him adequately for the work ahead.

The wound in question was a clean slice whose depth had allowed all manner of dirt in, and despite having been liberally (albeit indirectly and not deliberately) splashed with cleansing alcohol during the last two weeks it was now a very angry shade of red. The protective layer of dried blood was flecked with dirt and a clear fluid leaked from beneath it with only the slightest pressure. If it was painful to look at, it was surely more painful to actually have and feel, yet young Mark showed no pain or fear. With a trusty pocket knife in hand, he paused only once to take a deep breath and hold it in before exhaling in a great rush. A sagely expression came over him, making his heavy-lidded eyes seem cloudy and distant. With a dazzling quickness he sliced open the hardened surface of his grave injury and Oh! what happened then! A rush of milky fluid rushed forth, gleaming wetly under the light of the afternoon sun. Unfazed by such Mark quickly wiped it away and proceeded to squeeze with the all the somber detachment of a true warrior. Once the rupture in his smooth skin was running with the pure crimson of a clean cut, he wiped his hands off on the comforting cloth of his shortened jeans and simply sat. Clearly this quiet contemplation was his way of cleansing his spirit as well as the site of his bodily harm.

His phone rang and with all the unhurried grace of a seasoned general, Mark reached in his pocket, saw that the name on the phone simply said “Cunty Whore That Dumped Me” and thumbed the silencer with unperturbed ease.

This concludes our first installment of Heart-Pounding Tales of The Manliness of Men Vol. 1: Wound and Infection Treatment Stories! Won’t you join us next time for more thrilling, fascinating and stirring tales of manly men and their aplomb in the face of mortal wounding and dire infections?

Because I love you all so dearly, gentle readers, I have put together another mixwit tape for your enjoyment. In this installement I share with you a variety of delightful mashups. What is a mashup, you may ask? Something akin to a remix, but in this case more focused on taking two (sometimes more) songs and melding them together in such a way that you’d never want to hear them any other way. Generally speaking, this mix is intended to at least get you chair dancing, if not full out dancing your ass off. Three from A plus D, three from Instamatic, three from DJ Lobsterdust.

1. A plus D - Love Will Tear You Apart (She Wants Revenge vs. Joy Division vs. Bauhaus)
• Not much to say about this one. Consider it an appetizer for what A plus D has to offer.
2. A plus D - Sexy Peek-A-Boo (I’m Bringing Siouxsie Back) Justin Timberlake vs. Siouxie & The Banshees
• Ordinarily I’d have nothing to do with Justin Timberlake. I really don’t go in for “pop” music. This changes things a lot. Trust me. Also, accordian.
3. A plus D - Don’t Stop Believin’ In Planet Rock (Journey vs. Afrika Bambaataa)
• Journey never had so much funk. Nor did they expect to have it. Yet… it feels so right.
4. Instamatic - Crazy Marvin (Gnarls Barkley vs. Marvin Gaye)
• That song you couldn’t get away from meets a soul master for a refreshing look at both.
5. Instamatic - Electric Loop (Judas Priest vs. Pendulum)
• Chosen mostly for the liberal Willy Wonka (original film thankyouverymuch) sampling, in all honesty. Fast-paced and fun.
6. Instamatic - Ghetto Tits 2006 (Benassi mix of Outkast vs. Peaches vs. Scissor Sisters)
• This is mostly Peaches, and therefore has liberal use of various sexually charged terms some folks consider foul. NSFW I guess. Probably my fav of the Instamatic remixes.
7. DJ Lobsterdust - SaySayism Allstar Jam
• When they call this an allstar jam they aren’t at all kidding. This is my favorite mashup of all time. Just listen. The transitions are masterful, the songs flow like an undeniable force of nature, and I pretty much guarantee you’ll smile at least a little.
8. DJ Lobsterdust - RightNowRightNow (Beastie Boys - Love Psychedelico)
• I think if the Beastie Boys had met Hot Chip, or hung out with the guys hacking their C64 to make chip tunes they might have made something like this on their own.
9. DJ Lobsterdust - Glass Octopus (The Beatles vs. Blondie)
• This may be the most approachable mashup for people who don’t really care for hip hop or techno or dance-oriented music. It’s Blondie’s Heart of Glass mixed with The Beatles’ Octopus’s Garden in a really fun, natural way. Still got a great beat for those who do enjoy a good excuse to dance.

That’s all for now! I hope you have as much fun with this as I have!
Image on the tape is art from P. Robertson’s Kings of Power 4 Billion %. Download it. Watch it. He’s great.

I was putting together a rather unexciting brochure, when I noticed that the capital Q in Arno Pro (Bold Caption) has a really elegant flow. Being familiar with the concept of typographical zoology, I decided to see what I could come up with. The tail-like nature of the letter of course lead me first to think of Felis catus, ye olde house cat. (A popular item on the internet these days, indeed.)

Enjoy!

Last night and well into today has been a flight of extreme fantasy, not all of which was enjoyable, but all of which has left me thinking. Unfortunately I’ve waited too long to write this all down, so some details will inevitably be lost in the rapid cognition thought-shuffling of daily life.

At some point, I woke up and said “Ok, that’s it, no more Howlings before bedtime.” The series of dreams felt like a test. Felt like a warning as well. A test of my mental strength and a warning not to meddle carelessly in affairs which are far larger and more powerful than I have previously taken them to be. It’s true, all throughout the documentary by Poke Runyon, discussing the methods by which they employed the Goetic techniques to summon, and to scry, I (drunkenly) scoffed at the notion of some of the scraping and bowing, and alternately at the idea of binding and domineering these unseen spiritual forces. (It should be noted that while the Goetia is amply available[pdf], I have yet to read the work itself.) While reading Howlings, likewise I took a skeptical attitude towards some of the methodology, considering it to be somewhat overcautious and paranoid. Some have argued that the Goetic (among other) spirits are sovereign beings, and some have argued that these works are exercises in confronting one’s own inner labyrinth. (Think highly aware self-hypnosis and play acting as a form of therapy or mental/spiritual growth, if you will.) Either way, those that have studied these things have preached caution, and some have issued threatening warnings regarding the dangers of treating these things lightly and carelessly.

I have always been a skeptic of sorts, and perhaps a bit overeager and zealous when it comes to the thought of finding proofs to these claims and methods. Last night’s dreams felt like a deeply detailed experience designed to caution me against doing or saying things which may ultimately land me into very hot water.

Yet I digress, these dream logs aren’t intended for me to get into the whys and the wherefores, but to chronicle the dreams themselves for future reference and entertaining reading.
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• @rodzilla I like the idea of searching for music a lot more than I do uploading it all ala muxtape’s model #
• @rodzilla it’s so much fun, I’ve already done at least 3 #
• @rodzilla hahaha. that makes sense, I’ve been going ga-ga over the service lately #
• going to play on mixwit now, I just can’t help it #
• @rickjulian Fage is the beeeest! Oh my goodness. with cherries? nom nom nom #
• @rickjulian even better! I wish it wasn’t so expensive. you ever try Kefir (yogurt drink by lifeway)? #
• @rickjulian lucky! :) i wonder if it’s safe to mail order yogurt… #
• @rickjulian is she still raving at whoever will take the bait? #
• got some curious traffic earlier, makes me wonder if I’m being watched (in a good way i hope) #
• @geechee_girl I stil haven’t quite gotten the hang of hash tags #

Editor’s Note: Seriously, non-stop Tweeting all weekend.
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All this talk of Mudkips (and having to troll around Google Labs for something work related) got me to thinking, just how popular is this whole “mudkips” thing, and what about rival Pokémon meme, Seaking?
Well, the results are in!
The winner for longest running search item? Seaking.
Current most popular? Mudkips.
Overall though, I’d say the winner is Seaking by a huge margin. Fuck yeah, Seaking!

Although I couldn’t help but notice, when adding Slowpoke (Hey guys, am I late?), I got some articles too. Talking about some hybrid Lexus. Funky. In typical Slowpoke fashion, this search lags way, way behind the others. Fitting, really.

Search result totals (as of a few minutes ago):
Seaking - 1,110,000
Slowpoke - 624,000
Mudkips - 359,000 for mudkip, 122,000 for mudkips

Clearly, even though there’s a rise in popularity of the newer gen meme fodder, Mudkips, there is a serious lack of content for this topic. Although to be fair, I think Encyclopedia Dramatica probably has the subject covered well enough for us all. If you don’t know that ED is not safe for work then you haven’t been around the block. So I’ll tell you right now, that it’s not safe for work, and if you’re really very worried about that, then you should probably not go around the block. They do however have a link in there for a PDF on scientists’ attempts to study the development and regeneration of axolotls, which as we learned earlier today, are the closest thing we get to Mudkips on this side of our Quantum Reality Tunnel. Science will find a way though, it always does. Yay science!

Anyway, all of that was really just some blatent search related infoporn, exposing me for the meme-addled child I truly am. Do they have support groups for this kind of thing?

Ok, not really. My good friend Kento over at Uglorable has composed an AMAZING compendium of obscure animals - one for each letter of the alphabet - entitled: Obscure Animal Alphabet: Axolotl to Zebu.

For letter A is the Axolotl, which HAS to be the inspiration for that internet famous Pokémon, Mudkips.
Exhibit A:
Exhibit B:
Sure there’s color differences, but that’s pretty minor all things considered.

As you go down the list, you realize that the creators of Pokémon were clearly influenced by nature itself. Sure, they take a lot of liberties, but in terms of creature design, it’s clear they went straight for nature’s bounty.

Even if you couldn’t care less about video games, Pokémon, or internet memes, I’d still recommend checking out this animal alphabet. Every letter is an adventure, there’s a photo of each unique animal, and a description of each one! It’s like Zoo Books, only awesome.

In the very broad strokes that I have always heard, the Christian calendar period referred to as Lent is about giving up things that are bad for you, to spiritually improve yourself by ditching nasty habits, etc. A laudable goal, but for those of us who aren’t Christian, it seems redundant in the light of New Year’s Resolutions, because there simply isn’t the church-based motivations to make it worthwhile.

Thankfully, someone has come up with an alternative: Discardia.
Discardia sounds delightfully like Discordia, and feels as though it has roots there, though it is unclear from the text on the matter whether it is indeed truly Discordian in nature. Either way, it is non-denominational and is strictly for personal growth, rather than personal growth for the sake of a religious precedent.

The premise behind Discardia is very simple.

Discardia is celebrated by getting rid of stuff and ideas you no longer need. It’s about letting go, abdicating from obligation and guilt, being true to the self you are now. Discardia is the time to get rid of things that no longer add value to your life, shed bad habits, let go of emotional baggage and generally lighten your load.

As a person who has a hard time letting go of tchotchkes and knick-knacks and guilt and obligation, this is precisely the kind of regular ritual I could really get behind. It happens multiple times a year, unlike traditional religious cleansing periods, which typically only occur during one day or period of time each year. The founders of this concept were kind enough to provide a calendar by which to prepare yourself.

This provides an opportunity for more than just a “spring cleaning” or a singular religious internal cleansing. It is a chance to inject some much needed clarity into a cluttered, hectic life at multiple times during the year. It’s really like an ultimate lifehack holiday.

Today is the first day of Discardia for this portion of the year. As the moon wanes to the position of new, and as spring draws ever closer, you can shake the stagnant air from your home, the pine needles from your rugs, the catalogues from your bathrooms, and take a nice deep breath.