Crystal, author of Big Bright Bulb, is an amazing woman. She’s vibrant, she’s forthright, she’s clever and inspiring.

Lately she touched on a subject that’s been near to the surface of my mind and a thorn in my heart: Laziness.

There is often so much in life that needs to get accomplished, and if you aren’t accomplishing those things, you’re a lazy, awful, no-good, very bad person, right?

Well, no. Not really, but it’s very easy to get sucked into that feeling, and into feeling that way about others when you see they aren’t getting much done either.

Crystal rightly frames what we call “laziness” as a more like being “stuck” and as a symptom of another (sometimes larger) issue. Below is her list, and beside each item: all the ways I can own up to the fact that I may not have excuses, but I have reasons for not being a perfect Doing machine all the time.

Laziness is a symptom of being—

in Mourning - In 2007, my father died of a heart attack. There’s a lot about that I’m still coming to terms with, and I miss him every single day.
in Recovery – I spent some time drinking on an almost daily basis. I didn’t stop entirely – I’m not on the proverbial wagon – but in the last 4 months I think I could count the number of drinks I’ve had on one hand. That said, my body still tells me sometimes that it’s tired from the hard times I put it through.
Angry – There are just too many things that make me angry to even list. I can tell from that statement alone that I’ve got some things I need to take care of.
Exhausted – I can’t seem to get un-tired sometimes it seems. There’s a lot to do and when I set myself to it, I can’t be stopped. This unfortunately sets me up for some nasty self-care habits that leave me wiped out.
Embittered – I feel cheated by foul circumstances that seemingly have no end. I feel used by those who leverage my patience to delay giving me my dues.
Dehydrated – Coffee. Coffee. Coffee. What’s water?
Depressed – It’s a compound of everything, really.
Demotivated – (Distinct from unmotivated.) I’m going to get treated poorly and still be expected to perform? Uhh…
Disorganized – I’ve moved living spaces and hopped computers a couple of times in recent history, and I can’t. fucking. find. anything anymore. It’s maddening.
Distracted - The internet is full of shiny things I can care about, or pretend to care about.
Disappointed – I live and work with adults. Sometimes, that sentence is very hard to believe.
Conflicted – I could continue to take care of my family, but I know that comes at a serious cost to my relationship with my significant other… and with them, but I can’t not help, can I?
Undernourished - See previous mention of poor self-care habits.
Uninspired – I’m not so sure about this one. If anything, I’m over-inspired to the point I can’t seem to find a thing and run with it.
Unwell – My allergies have been plaguing me constantly.
Unmotivated – What incentive do I have to fix everything life throws at me? I mean honestly. Some of these things aren’t even mine to fix in the first place, and that’s just the damn truth.
Uncentered – I barely know which way is up half the time, yeah. Sense of self? Shaky at best.
Unfocused – Priorities are numerous and hard to get into line. It makes it easy to stare at all the different tasks like a magic eye picture in the vain hope they’ll take shape. (And I never could do those magic eye things.)
Undercommitted – It’s well known that there’s a lot of “stuff” I have to do, but just what that is feels like it’s mutable, and it’s hard to hold myself accountable to a goal of “STUFF”.
Overwhelmed – Yes?
and maybe just a little low on Mojo – Extra large with a cherry on top, please.

So, in short I may be abused, tired, neglected, overwrought, underappreciated, over-committed, unimpressed, heartbroken and scatterbrained, but the one thing I am not is LAZY.

With all that in mind, when things fall by the wayside and I can’t seem to get things done, maybe it’s time I stop punishing and hating on myself for being lazy and start working smarter, and not harder. Crystal proposes several things that work for her. All those resources look fascinating, but it’s up to each of us to find our own path back to… well, back to whatever it is that “lazy” isn’t.

And I suspect the only way to do that is one positive acknowledgement and reward at a time.

Today’s positive acknowledgement? That I have all these bad feelings and things in my life, but I am not merely the sum of all those bad things, and my reward for that acknowledgement will be a big, deep breath and a night’s sleep that isn’t bookended by guilt for all those bad things.

Then tomorrow we’ll try for breakfast… and see what I can do from there. :)

Potentially Related posts

• Webcomic kind of day (0)
• Burning Man’s Premature Immolation (1)
• Magic: The (Watercooler) Gathering (0)
• Hmmph, not even. (0)
• Sucks to be you: Identity Theft (1)

The premise behind this project is very simple:

1. Choose a Tarot card (only shuffling for the first draw).
2. Dissect the visuals on the card and write down their most basic symbolic elements (from opinion/personal preference).
3. Look up details of that Tarot card from tarot books, 777 and other cross-cultural references.
4. Create a visual and/or written interpretation of the card.

The idea is part research project, part art project, part image-meme-in-the-making if stripped down to its most base elements (pick card, recreate card the way you see it).1

The deck I am using for my base of operations is The Robin Wood Tarot deck, put out by Llewellen publishers in 2002.2

Candidly, the Robin Wood is not my favorite deck in terms of art; I’d bite my own mother if it would get me a copy of the Yoshitaka Amano deck, but I adore his rich, Art Nouveau inspired work and that makes me rather biased. The Amano deck would actually be a poor choice for this endeavor, as the number cards within the suits are apparently expressed with a simple display of the number of each thing (cups, swords, etc), rather than full, symbolically significant art.3 The Robin Wood deck, on the other hand, is a much more suitable deck, inspired by the perennial Rider-Waite Deck published in 19104, although perhaps slightly more “modern” in its sensibilities.

I am currently at work on my first card, which I shall reveal if you ask me about it when I’m ready with a finished assessment and/or artistic recreation. Initially, I sought to impose strict deadlines for this work, yet I grossly underestimated the amount of information that has been layered into these cards over the centuries! Just working with only the base symbolism in the card could keep me very busy. Each card has a unique personality to be expressed through careful consideration of my reactions to it and available materials for creative reconstruction. This doesn’t even scratch the surface of the myriad readings to choose from in just the books I have available, especially since broad descriptions are given to help these cards display meaning when read in the intended context of a specific goal as well as their relation with other cards in a spread. Intentionally working with one card at a time means a lot of winnowing to get to the germ of the matter.

Furthermore, there are other unique challenges: Tarot interacts rather directly with several other systems of magick and philosophy, making the cross-referencing quite an in-depth affair. My extremely limited knowledge of Western Esoteric systems will prove to be my biggest stumbling block. This has been made clear while researching the first card for the series in 7775, Crowley’s seminal work providing rich tables of correspondences between systems of symbols used in different magick disciplines.

Though I will endeavor to research each card fully and provide serious thought and commentary to this effort, I do want to keep moving forward. What this means is that each article, each visual working (likely to be magazine-centric collage as I’ve a lot of material to work with) should likely be considered a work in progress, no matter how complete it may seem at the time of release. There’s likely to be more personal revelations and hand-written notes that simply don’t make it into this journal. These things may surface later as part of a larger effort to commit this project to print. Hail Eris!

Potentially Related posts

• Amazing Concoction: Doctor Funkenstein (2)
• Webcomic Update! YAY! (0)
• selling out on day one (0)
• I like this concept (0)
• Women’s health issues (0)

As a retrospective I’ve decided to dump (nearly) every picture I took. There’s a mix of travel photos, some repeat photos from previous posts, and photos of Portland. Click on the thumbnails below for the big version. And the photo on the detail page for the extra big version.

Also I just remembered that the first photo was an attempt to capture the following: The bus was Paul Revere, the sign overhead was for British Airway. I was punchy and found that highly amusing. Photo didn’t turn out so well though.

Potentially Related posts

• The Craigslist Posting That Will Almost Certainly Never Be (9)
• why your social media guru is an asshole & a liar OR how to succeed (or not) with your internet presence (8)
• Webcomic kind of day (0)
• A House That Would Even Make Lovecraft Blush (0)
• Hope, strength, and patience to all who lost something today (0)

Author’s Note: Some editing may apply to the article below. This article was originally 2 hours worth of unedited vitriol, inspired by the inordinate amount of time it takes me to remove spammers from my follower list on Twitter. (I block because I care about the health of the network.) I would like to state for the record that I am ~not~ a consultant and my field of employ does not position me as a social media anything. I am fully employed at a .com company that is none of your business because my opinions here are completely my own and in no way reflect those of my employers past, present or future, as is the case with all my articles.

Listen. I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking “oh god, another contrarian anti-internet jerk who just doesn’t get it”, right? Well, here’s the problem, assuming there is anything to “get” in the first place, I feel as though I do get it. So let me explain to you in no uncertain terms why I feel that you have to be very picky about how you approach the broad spectrum of things on the internet that have fallen under the somewhat dubious umbrella of “social media” – what follows applies mostly if you are a company or work for a company which wishes to employ this miracle tool to win friends and influence shoppers. Those of you who are largely concerned with keeping up with your friends and picking up some new novel on Amazon are exempt from this lecture and may go on about your business.

Someone, somewhere, right now may have just friended you or followed you or emailed you or called you with the intent to sell their services to you as an expert in social media. It may not have even been a real person, it may have been someone’s automated robot, spitting out update after update linking back to their blog or company website. This person may have been trying to convince you of one of the following things:

• You NEED to be a part of social media in order to make it in business.
• You NEED to be a part of social media to make it on the internet.
• You NEED to have dozens of automated accounts, linking to affiliate programs, so you never have to work another day in your life.
• You NEED the services of a “qualified social media expert” (really? what are the qualifications for that?) just like them to make this happen, because you, poor soul that you are, don’t get it.
• You NEED to have “conversations” with your customers, every last damn one of them, and you can somehow find all of your customers through the internet regardless of your business model or demographic.
• You NEED to be light and human and approachable on this wild, wooly internet, or your customer base will think you’re just a mean old corporate giant and won’t trust you anymore.
• You NEED to make sure that you do your campaigning virally from now on, and harness the power of the crowd.

If you are hearing any or all of the above statements, I want you to take a deep breath, take a good long look at this person telling you these things, and realize that you may be dealing with a blithering asshole, a liar, or an asshole liar. This individual may be feeding you a complete line of bullshit in order to help themselves to your money. This individual may also be intelligent, well-rounded, and respectful of you and your business. It is a VERY difficult line of judgement, and I urge individuals and businesses out to make a name for themselves (on the internet or otherwise) to tread carefully when it comes to the internet, since without self-education and experience it is very easy to get taken in by an enthusiastic pitchman who just wants you to “embrace the new media”.

Lest you think I’m just out to start trouble…

There are many ways in which acknowledging popular social media outlets could benefit a business, and just as many if not more ways that it can harm a business. It shouldn’t be a question of if your company will be participating in the various activities available on the internet, but when, how, and most importantly why.

In an extreme negative example, let us take the “Domino’s YouTube incident” into consideration for a moment. A couple of young employees of a particular Domino’s store took it upon themselves to film themselves playing with food that was intended to be delivered to a customer in a way that was clearly pretty unsanitary or at the very least against guidelines. They posted said video to YouTube, a content delivery service which allows anyone with an account to upload video files to share with as few or as many people as the account holder wishes. Due to the fact that this incident was rather outrageous, the link to that video spread a lot further than those two employees’ friends, and wound up being a huge embarrassment to the entire franchise. This in turn resulted in the President of Domino’s himself recording a response and distributing it through YouTube also. The original, incriminating videos were the kind of mildly gross, slightly shocking, pure-amusement dreck that tends to go popular, and unfortunately none of the major news outlets who covered the story back when it first occurred managed to get the number of views the video managed to receive prior to the suspension of “whiteair2″, the original account the videos were posted on.

Some would argue that if Domino’s had been proactive in their approach to social media in particular, this may not have been “as bad” or may not have happened at all. Yes and no, would be my response to that claim. Would it have been worthwhile for Domino’s to monitor for the presence of its company name on the internet, and be prepared to respond should anything negative start to gain ground? Absolutely, because as demonstrated here, things can occur which get people to talking with one another, and eventually things like this can leave the walled gardens from which they sprung. Everything I’ve heard about public relations suggests that good PR has legs and will generate positive influence that may bring in future customers. Bad PR, however, seems to have a hangar full of high speed jets which can result in misconceptions, smug disdain, and complaints that spread faster and linger for much longer.

Yet this monitoring is by no means exclusive to “social media” outlets such as YouTube or Twitter, and likewise, no amount of canned responses thrown up on YouTube, nor Twitter accounts/posts to mitigate the seemingly endless stream of whiny, self-righteous haters, can stop this sort of thing or even improve the company’s standing with either the internet using people they are supposedly reaching out to or more importantly the greater public. The extremely scripted response from the Domino’s President clocks in (as of today) at 731,695 views, according to the official posting of the video, which is downright pathetic given the amount of mass media attention this story received. However, reposts may also carry views which aren’t counted in this number. Perhaps it is not a coincidence that the articles I have read only give passing nods to Domino’s response to the matter, and focus more on the shock-and-awe blitz that the original videos seem to have stirred up to begin with.

What this story has to teach is:

• Not being aware of how you and your company can be portrayed in the public by average citizens using an easily accessible set of tools can be disastrous.
• Trying to mitigate a terrible PR situation by poorly using the tools that seem to have been the “cause” of the problem does not automatically win you the love of those same detractors. Handling the situation quickly and professionally might, if you’re lucky.

Note: A commenter brought up a good point RE: my recap of the Domino’s situation and I clarified my thoughts in a follow-up comment. Scroll down and read if you’re interested. Thank you, Liz, for the opportunity to clarify those points.

So what about my business?

What this has to do with you, and the slick individual who thinks it would be a good idea to sign your company up for Facebook, YouTube, Twitter, and all these other “popular” sites, is very simple. It starts by asking yourself a very simple question: “Does my company have something tangible to gain by actively interacting with its customer base through one of these outlets?”

These days, the answer to the second question is almost guaranteed to be a partial yes, unless you’re doing something like making custom wagon parts for the Amish, then maybe not so much. Yet before you invest all your money in a fast-talking internet “guru” (which is a word to watch out for, by the way, since most of these would-be rinpoche have dubbed themselves gurus), hire 6 more people just to re-tweet press releases for you, and figure out how to talk about your product on the YouTube even if no one cares, there are a couple more questions you might want to ask yourself, your staff, and your magical social media consultant:

• Why should I be proactively seeking criticism and input from a relatively small portion of my customer base using services like Facebook and Twitter when I can dedicate more resources to a more balanced approach that entails monitoring a larger portion of the internet INCLUDING those sites to create a good cycle of reactive implementation of better features and services?
• Does my company have the ability to put someone, or several people, in “the line of fire” to respond almost instantaneously to any situation that is made aware to the public, knowing that these people must be given the freedom to respond in a largely unscripted manner if they are to be at all effective in coming across as genuine?
• Does my company – or my consultant – understand the difference between marketing, public relations, and reputation management?
  • Does my company – or consultant – understand that these initiatives are related, but are still different and will require different disciplines, approaches, and sometimes people to be successful?
• Does my company know when to draw the line and handle a situation through dealing with the traditional media outlets, understanding that for every customer on the internet, there are several more who will not have access to those broadcasts from us?
• Is my company interested in self-promotion and press releases, or direct customer relations and expanding customer service contact methods?
• What kind of things are being said about my product or service on the internet?
  • What kinds of things are being said about my competitors’ products or services?
  • What kind of things are being said about directly related or easily confused products or services?
  • What kind of things are being said about my entire niche or section of business?
  • What kind of things are being said specifically by people in my demographic for any one or all of these things?
• (And of course the pre-work to all of that previous short list of questions, in case that didn’t scare you enough:) Does my company have demographic information about our business model, niche, or industry as well as a basic understanding of the terms and topics related to that, and an ability to dedicate resources to that research before, during and after any phase of a long-term customer facing campaign on the internet?

If your “social media expert” or “guru” or just plain old consultant cannot help you address any one of the above questions, then they are not doing you a service, but a very distinct disservice. The internet is a fairly complex emotional and social landscape, but so is a television viewing audience, a base of radio listeners, and the readership of a magazine or newspaper. The key factor here is that you are always dealing with answering the question of “How does my business interact with the public?” If you let yourself get blinded by cheap tactics under the guise of “better SEO” or “getting with the times” or some kind of misguided free love approach to business on the internet that you have no plans of actually embracing, then you are going to be about as effective on a site like Twitter as a man wearing a sandwich board in the subway screaming about the end times and handing out leaflets to everyone who dares get within five feet of him. Sure, being in the subway is great exposure, and he’s yelling so everyone can hear him, he’s definitely getting to a lot of people, and he’s delivering his leaflets of content to really spread the word around. The trouble is, they all thing he’s annoying, insane, or both, and they’re probably right. It’s a terrible way to do business either out on the street or through channels like Twitter, Facebook, YouTube, etc.

Summary:

• Think before you act.
• Never abandon or detract from your bottom line for what could be a trend, or go against your core business model.
• Do not cave to the pressure to be on Twitter simply because you’re paying someone to tell you that it’s a good idea. And fire that guy who can’t give you at least one good reason why it is genuinely good for your business.
• Be aware that the internet can impact your PR, but handle the situation according to what is right for your business, not according to the media used for delivery. (Would you run a counter local Fox news investigation if a local Fox news investigation caused you a PR flap? Probably not.)

Thanks, and happy interneting!

Potentially Related posts

• Foucault's Pendulum: Ish too hard fo me (0)
• This just in(and out and in and out..) (0)
• Welcome To New Hampshire (0)
• Draw on My Ball! HYUCK HYUCK (0)
• Octopi dreams – late in recording (0)

Disclaimer-by-way-of-Prologue – I sat down and thought to myself: “Suppose I was to solicit some kind of bodily coupling through something like craigslist, in an area where these kind of services are clearly not at their peak usefulness?” This is the result of that thought process. (I may have also been letting my mind wander after reading Curvy. [NSFW] So, you know, whatever.) I couldn’t necessarily decide if I wanted to put it in the fiction category or not since it’s more of a “thought experiment” so I decided that the almighty FNORD would be perfectly adequate here. There is a certain amount of temptation to go ahead and post this to see what kind of responses it would turn up, but at the same time I’m afraid that the rage caused by attempting to read the painfully infantile responses that I would anticipate from such a posting would cause me to have a stroke. The other terrifying alternative is explained below, and the consequences would be no different if I were joking or serious, because some people just don’t get that other people having sex is none of their goddamn business and they, therefore, have nothing to be afraid of or disgusted by if they just take the unimportant information of who’s doing what with their naughty bits and just put it out of their mind entirely.

At any rate, the questions for the readers might be this: Would you respond to a personals ad on a site like craigslist? Would you POST a personals ad on a site like craigslist? HAVE you done either of those things, and how did it turn out if you did? I myself have always been extremely particular about my partners, so I can’t actually imagine following through with something like this, but the idea intrigues me and I am interested to hear from people who’ve been there and done that. Comment! Your email will never be published here, and if you’re worried about something like that anyway, don’t forget there’s always hushmail.

You know, this is totally crazy. I mean, New Hampshire is a pretty small state, the seacoast area doubly so from what I’ve noticed. Yet here I am, typing this up as if I’m really and truly considering putting myself and my partner up on the block to be passed over (or worse taken up) by people we’d potentially never think twice about, much less set up an intimate relationship with. An even further terrifying thought is the idea that someone I actually know, or heaven forbid work with, would actually come across this and be able to identify who I am by the way this is written or the location I’ve specified.

Not that it’s any of their business anyway. After all, if I’d wanted to include them in my sex life I probably would have just gotten extremely drunk and asked by now. Still, even if lots of people do this (and you must be at least interested or you wouldn’t be here reading this, would you?), and it’s really not that big of a deal, and if anything it’s safer and more cost effective than trolling bars, it would undoubtedly be seen as some kind of transgression of society and be laughed at heartily and most likely jeopardize my good standing with certain less open minded individuals. It’s really an unfortunate state of affairs (no pun intended).

So the first question that I must ask of you, dear respondent, is how do you deal with the knowledge that this ostensible stranger you’re contacting may be someone you know? Furthermore, how do you deal with the knowledge that you actually know nothing about this ostensible stranger if indeed they turn out to be someone previously unknown to you? A relatively decent answer to either one of these questions will also help me establish that you are not some kind of weird robot intent on selling me man-bits-enhancing-laced flapjacks or whatever it is they’re pushing these days with the spam.

Clearly, this process would have to start with some kind of meeting sans sexual expectations. Not that he or I would be looking for anyone interested in forging a lifelong bond of inseparable friendship and omfg-limbs-everywhere sex, but it would be nice to know beyond a simple reply message whether or not the person we intend to meet is some kind of mouth-breathing troglodyte before we get to the clothes off stage of things. I also naturally assume that, like me, you will want to be seeing the person whom you’re considering climbing into bed with – totally understandable. Well, I won’t be posting any photos of myself or my significant other on craigslist, as that erodes what little sense of safety in anonymity craigslist actually provides (see also that “small state” comment from the beginning). That said, I know that pictures are helpful to bridge from emails or phone calls to the next actual meeting step, and I’ll be happy to send one along as soon as I hear from someone who seems like an interesting person (that I don’t already know). I am in my late 20s and he is in his early 30s, and neither of us are body builders but we are also not sacks of human waste with eyes, so that’s a plus.

Oh, and what we’d ideally be looking for is a woman, between the ages of 19-35, or maybe even a couple in that age range (male/female or female/female would be fine, male/male might be too many man-bits to for either my partner or I to deal with, sorry guys), who takes interest in or at the very least does not take exception to the following:

• Substance use (for the sake of legality I will say booze and cigarettes)
• Terrible B movies, and not-terrible movies centering around sci-fi, history, or abstract concepts
• Discussions about esoteric philosophy, science, computers & the internet, art, video games and comics
• Relatively obscure/eclectic music including but not limited to medieval Serbian folk music, The Fleet Foxes, of Montreal, Daft Punk, Guided By Voices, and the soundtrack from the Katamari games
• Keeping things completely and totally out of the commitment zone.

(By now anyone who really knows me has probably figured out who I am by the contents of this post, and if you – for whatever reason – want to talk to me about this by all means respond, or speak to me privately. Should I discover that my request has been aired in whispers all over the fruited plains I shall be very disappointed in humanity as a whole.)

If you are still interested after this confused diatribe and wish to contact my partner and I about this (flight of fancy I have decided to) post (without telling him) then please feel free to respond. I look forward to the kind of unique interest something like this can generate.

Potentially Related posts

• An Event Apart Day One Conference Notes Part 1 (2)
• Top Magazine Covers of 2007 (2)
• Good News! Multiple Language Support for RSS (1)
• The first person to comment… (3)
• I have dreamed and learned (0)

Technically I had way more interesting dreams over the weekend, and there was much more to the dream from which this exceprt is from, but dreaming a conversation with David Bowie, however cursory, is fucking sweet and I felt I should share.

I was walking through a corridor and came through a door to a mostly darkened outdoor walkway, similar in description to the kind at a first floor motel. Sidewalk, roof from the balcony above, intermittant lights, open on the left side with supporting columns, and doors every so often in the wall to the right.

A man was slowly shifting his way down this walkway, reading as he went. I recognized him as David Bowie (circa The Hunger, I’d say – which I watched for the first time fairly recently). The book he was reading – despite the fact that it was honestly too dark to read – was something by Hermann Hesse. I started to press on, going through a metal door with a large window, but doubled back, jittery and excited and embarassed.

“What book is that?” He told me (I don’t remember now). “Mm.. Hesse is great, I loved Siddhartha,” I stammered as quickly as I could, “but I never did get through Steppenwolf.” The nerves were jangling for sure! This was David fucking Bowie I was admitting my literary ignorance to after all! The conversation went on a little further, then I think I woke up briefly.

I guess it isn’t necessarily that exciting in the description, but it was so vivid that I couldn’t help but grin like an idiot when I woke up. Maybe I should take this as a sign to listen to Ziggy Stardust and try to finish Steppenwolf? Or maybe take a crack at Magister Ludi (which is what I THINK he might have been reading).

Potentially Related posts

• Save the children!! (0)
• Semi-Sorta-Synchronicity Sunday: Jesus, Moustaches, Pickles (0)
• Word of the Day: Personal Definition (0)
• No Other Explanation Necessary 8: La Belle Dame Sans Merci (0)
• (but not hotdog buns) (0)

Look, anyone who knows me can attest to the idea that, I’m probably not the most put-together person on the planet. In fact, my inability to get organized, and my all-star procrastinator status really gives me little credibility when it comes to telling you what to do. However, in the past six months, I’ve been on a campaign to get my shit together– I’ve certainly had failures, but I’ve also had a few successes. I’d like to share with you a few things that I desperately wish someone had told me– before I found out the hard way.

1. Embrace Online Banking

Guess What? Those bills you’ve got piling up aren’t going to pay themselves. You want to know how I know this? About 12 collection-agency letters in six months. I ignored the first few influx’ of these letters- pretended they were junk mail and adopted the attitude, much like a 2 year old hiding under a blanket, that if I can’t see it, it’s not there. Well, 2 year olds are stupid, and collection-agencies aren’t going anywhere.

It was tough to come to terms with it, but, after shelling out $600 for a several months overdue phone bill (plus collection agency fees, and “early account termination fees”), I realized that, holy shit, you really really need to pay your bills. On time. Every month.

So, I set up automatic payments straight from my checking account through my bank’s online banking program. I check my balance every morning so I know where I’m at, and once a week I have automatic deductions taken from my credit-card company, student-loan managers, and savings account. My gym membership is taken automatically on a monthly basis and I don’t have to think about any of it.

2. Make a File

Keep all of your important shit together. I have a Huge three-ring binder outfitted with several dividers and folders labeled with simple, somewhat vague information like: Computer stuff (where I’ll keep OS disks, receipts for hardware, etc.), Money (pay stubs, bank receipts), Bills (statements, payment-plan overviews). Keeping all of your things in one place means you’ll always know exactly where to look when your computer crashes, or you need to dispute a claim to your credit-card company.

3. Cook Some Damn Food

Stop eating out! You’re spending way too much money, and you’re likely eating like shit. Go to the grocery store, try something new, come up with a few specialties and revel in the fact that you’ve got leftovers and you actually know what’s in them! Plus, cooking is fun. It’s a hobby that anybody can get into, and it pays off in spades.

4. Brown-Bag It

Remember that Chicken Parmesan you cooked up last night? Bring it to work with you tomorrow! In fact, when you’re portioning out your plate for dinner, get out a Tupperware and throw some in right then and there. Still too much work? Make a weekly trip to the grocery store and pick up some cheap, non-refrigerated meals and keep them in your desk drawer. For $10-15 a week, you can eat like a king. I recommend Yakisoba (its like ramen, but with cabbage and other veggies), Progresso or Campbell’s Chunky Soups, even Easy Mac. Then, bring a few fruits to round out your meal, and you’re golden on a budget.

5. Enough With the Beer!

OK, this one’s more of a goal. I’m certainly not one to talk… as I consider myself somewhat of a beer snob. However, this snobbery is costing me bucks! Not to mention the serious poundage that a good-beer habit is responsible for. Listen, I’m not going to sit down with a PBR pounder with my dinner (I’ll reserve those for the weekend, thank you very much). I’m going to drink good beer, which is usually going to set me back $8 a six-pack. Not a cheap habit. And, honestly, the fact that I’ve busted two buttons in two weeks, is a sign that my pants are practically begging me to give the beer a rest and sit down to dinner with a nice glass of red Zin instead. Want proof? G, could you stand up for us please? Girl looks great!

6. Stop Shopping!

It sounds so easy. But, I’m an emotional shopper. Tazed at work? I could really use some new make-up or a clearance-shirt (or 6). Fight with the b/f? Maybe I’ll dye my hair. Pfft, who needs men… You get the idea… but when you find yourself heading out to the store with a vengeance- just stop. Don’t go to the outlets with your friend and expect to “just browse.” Stop running to Target any time you need a bottle of conditioner and just get it at the supermarket. Back away from the shoes. It’s simple- if you don’t put yourself in the midst of temptation, you wont buy. Do something productive with your time and breathe a little easier knowing you just saved yourself $40 worth of useless crap.

7. $4 Prescription Plans

It pains me to advocate for Wal-Mart… but I’m gonna do it. Their $4 prescription plan is exceptional– there are hundreds of prescriptions for medications ranging from cholesterol regulators to anti-anxiety meds and everything in between. $4 a month is a lot better than $50, and even if you don’t have insurance, you’ll be able to afford your meds. PS. Target offers a similar program, if you simply can’t bring yourself to patronize Wal-Mart (and who could blame you?)

8. Get Therapy

OK, hear me out. Therapy is not for everyone- but if you’re going through a tough time (whether financially, personally or emotionally) I can’t stress enough the benefits that therapy may have. For me, it gave me confidence, reminded me that I’m not a terrible person, and spurred me on to really take stock of my life- my goals, my financial situation and my emotional status. In fact, seeing a therapist was the catalyst to taking on many of the positive changes I’ve decided to take on. However, if you simply can’t wrap your head around therapy, or you just don’t believe in it– give yourself the next best thing and get your ass moving. Whether that means going to the gym, practicing yoga or going for a walk every day– being active is a motivator in and of itself. It is the natural anti-depressant and it is guaranteed to give you more energy, and to make you feel better about yourself.

9. Freelance

What are you good at? Computers? Cooking? Writing? Sewing? Everyone’s good at something, and finding a way to turn your hobbies into extra cash is a fun and lucrative way to stay on-top of your skills, and finance your weekly wing-night. Offer to patch the holes in your friends’ wardrobes, write for your friends’ blog (thanks G!), help a friend build a website, or cook a weeks worth of freezable meals for your culinarily challenged co-worker. It’ll be fun!

10. Have a Lot of Sex

OK, I’m bragging. Sue me. Having frequent sex with someone you care about is rejuvenating, invigorating, confidence-boosting, and well, fun. It’s even a great economic plan: when you want to go shopping- have sex. When you’ve had a bad day- have sex. When you’re exhausted- have sex. When you’re unmotivated- have sex. To really put some pep in your step: have sex in the morning before work. If you only adopt one of these tips (though, I’d really recommend online banking hehe), bust out that Kama Sutra and have a lot of sex.

Potentially Related posts

• following suit (0)
• Ze Frank and his Terrifying New Merch (0)
• The Old Guard and The New Aeon: Bukowski & His Mac IIsi (0)
• Bombshell doesn’t even scratch the surface (0)
• QED Group – Last.FM Topographical Map of Friend Compatibility (2)

Hi friends!

We just added some Google Friend Connect features that will allow you to publicly declare your RKNet fandom. GFC supports login/signup via Google accounts, Yahoo! accounts, OpenID credentials or AIM signin info. Right now you can add RKNet as a favorite site using this feature, link to us via Facebook, Myspace, etc and invite others in your contact list to be friends of the site too (which wouldn’t hurt our feelings any).

The 50th person to become a member through Google Friend Connect is going to get something special. The member sign up is on the home page: randomkitty.net – and there’s also a login/signup mini-box in the upper right portion of the sidebar on the blog home page.

Soon as I figure out what I did wrong before, we’ll use this service to offer more feedback options (starred reviews of articles being the big one), and eventually we might find or build a few custom gadgets for you to play with when you visit.

Also, I just got finished going through my Blockbuster online account and I pulled up my rental history to share with everyone. I listed each movie, when it was rented, and some short notes about each film. If I get ambitious I may start doing the same thing with my physical film (DVD) library. Anybody know of a fast way to catalog stuff like that? Hit up the comments and lay it on me, man.

Potentially Related posts

• Firefox Pimps for the Everyman (like me!) (1)
• Ashtanga Yoga: The Role of Asanas, and a Very Brief Background/History (6)
• Our Closest-to-Winning Contest Entry! (2)
• T-mobile’s HTC G1 “Googlephone” Unboxing and First Impressions of Android (4)
• Dream Log: Story Time Edition (0)

This is a quick entry with short descriptions of two podcasts I love, adore and recommend to most people. Mostly because I’ve cut down my listening to podcasts since I finished my work placement a year ago. But these are two of about 15 that survived the cut.

Science is the most important thing in our modern world. Who can deny this? I am using a computer to write this, and, you are using a computer to read this. A product of science/technology. Truly if science is a key component of our lives then it is the duty of every sane and intelligent person to attempt to keep up to date with the latest developments.

That is very hard. It is almost a full time job. Reading aggregated news sites such as Slashdot and skimming “New Scientist” once a week can only really help so much. Reading the science section of your daily newspaper can also help. But one of the best resources I have found is a podcast produced by my newspaper – The Manchester Guardian. It is normally about half an hour long; although the podcast I’ve just started listening to is 40 minutes long. It’s got an interview with Marcus du Sautoy who is a professor of mathematics from Oxford University, and the presenter of “The Story of Maths”. Which currently showing on BBC4 and is the most fascinating documentary on UK TV at the moment.

The podcast has covered everything from Bad Science, climate change, quantum physics, the “Large Hadron Collider”; in short everything that is happening in science today.

I’m a fanatic roleplaying gamer. A total and unashamed geek when it comes to rolling the dice and crawling the dungeons. One of the podcasts I listen to about tabletop gaming is 2d6 Feet in a Random Direction. I started to listen to this in August 2006 and have been listening to each and every podcast produced. It has quite likely pushed me into buying quite a few books (most of which I can’t afford) and the advice presented in several of the podcasts have improved my gaming. Probably this podcast (along with another Sons of Kryos) contributed significantly to my awesome experience at the 2008 Student Nationals; where I played the best 9 hours of table-top gaming of my life.

It’s a podcast that highlights new things. I love new things. It’s a good podcast.

—

Go listen to the first one podcast even if you don’t like science, you’ll be surprised how accessible science can be. If you used to play Dungeons and Dragons, and then stopped, take a listen to “2d6 Feet”, you might find something to drag you back into playing games.

Peace and love bombs,

Will.

Potentially Related posts

• Nobody Expects The Spanish Inquisition! (In Lego) (2)
• A Vinyl Toy Project I Can Totally Get Into: My Little Pony (0)
• The Scritch-Scratch of Busy Little Hands (0)
• Typography Fetish: 26 Types of Animals (1)
• In Defense of the Shenis – A Broadside (8)

You are hiding behind a stone wall being shot at by heavily armed cultist. You have had two weeks of training to deal with situations like this. But you’re only just starting to remember this. You know you should feel angry that people are shooting at you. But you consider that they would shoot at anyone trying to sneak into their heavily armed and very secretive religious compound. Instead you think about the figurative bastards that put you in this situation. They woke you up at four in the morning approximately thirteen hours ago. Bundled you into a car, then an airplane and whisked you six hundred miles from your home. They told you that that two week blackout you had was their fault. That two week blackout two years ago. A blackout that cost you a relationship with a person you deeply loved and very nearly alienated you from your immediate family. They said that you’d been taken to a secret government facility and been in their words ‘The Clockwork Orange’ treatment. Except instead of making you dislike violence they taught you to know how to do very unpleasant things to your fellow human beings. When you didn’t believe this as they quite reasonably expected they produced photographic evidence, timestamped and digitally signed. These memories slowly came back to you. You attributed this to the background music playing in the airplane’s cabin.

The current problem that you are to be injected into was explained to as a local disturbance which could rapidly turn into the European version of the Waco Ranch massacre. They explain to you that this is where you come in. You, they explain are to sneak into the compound and assassinate the leader of the cult as well as disrupt as much of the chain of command. Logically you try to explain to them that Solid Snake does this in the video games and he tends to die an awful lot in the attempt. They do not get the reference. They also suck their gums a lot which you take as a sign of ‘you’re not the first one we’ve sent in.’

The sneaking into the farm ran by crazy cult members did go better than expected. You made it past the official police line and through a field past the body of who you assume was ‘the first one sent in.’ As you reach the edge of the main farm complex however it all goes wrong.

Not the first one to be sent in seems to explain the problem well as you hide behind a dry wall. Your mouth is dry and your hands have almost stopped trembling. Their bullets have stopped firing. Cautiously you peer around the corner and see that three of the larger cultists are running towards you while brandishing very scary looking shotguns. You gulp. Aim the silenced pistol you were given at the closest cultist. Then you fire. It isn’t a perfect shot. It goes through his leg and he tumbles to the floor. He is screaming but the other two have upped the pace. You take aim again and fire. The next one drops without a sound in a mist of red. The third cultist stops. He raises his shotgun. You take cover. He discharges the weapon into the wall and the pellets bounce off the wall harmlessly. You feel you are getting the hang of this. Looking around the corner you feel slightly disappointed that he is running away from you.

You move forwards from this wall to the next. This is progress you think. Then they start firing a machine gun at you and you dive for the closest thing you see that looks like cover. The training you remember consisted of firing ranges, simulated close quarters combat exercises and training drills. Very little of the training (although you cannot be quite certain right now as your memory is still fragmented) involved being shot at and the immediate action to be taken when you inevitably come into the situation. You go on instinct here. Duck and cover, then hope that the machine gun breaks or runs out of bullets. 

The person manning the machine gun appears to be enjoying himself. Every few seconds a burst of fire removes fragments of the dry stone wall. The bullets are close and you hear some of them whistle through the air. The gunner however has a steady rhythm to his firing. You remember that you have a mirror on one of the cargo pockets. You take it out and use it to peer round the edge of the wall. There is only him. His burst finishes. You jump over the wall and shoot him in the head. The way into the main building is clear now. You kick the flimsy wooden door from it’s hinges. You hear a thumping noise.

You are cold and cannot move. Your head aches with a dull throbbing sensation. Your face hurts. Opening your eyes you see that you are in a cellar. The thin light of sunset comes in through an opening in the wall near the ceiling. You work out why you are cold and cannot move. Directly ahead of you  is a man.  He is naked and strapped to a gurney. His right arm has a horrific gunshot wound and his groans occasionally break his possibly drug induced sleep.

Four sky clad people walk into the cellar. One of them has a demonic mask and a evil knife. Another, a drum made from wood with a tight white skin with tattoo ink blue Celtic markings on it. The other two are women who start dancing and chanting as soon as they enter the room. The drummer starts to hit his drum and the masked man you watch move to stand in front of the injured man blocking him from your view.

“For your intrusion onto hallowed ground we punish you,” the masked man shouts.
“For your intrusion onto hallowed ground we punish you,” the others repeat.
You watch the masked man drag the knife across the injured mans chest. Blood runs to the ground.
“For your violent ways we injured you,” the masked man shouts.
“So we shall injure you again!” The two dancers say.
The masked man pushes the knife into the injured mans gunshot wound.
He screams!
“We the children of the gods say you must die,” all of the cultists say.
The injured man screams one last time.
You see the masked man turn to you. 

You are sweating heavily now. That evil knife is covered in gore and the blank look of the masked man you feel hides a sadistic smile. The drumming man carries on his vile rhythm for the dancers to follow. You see a small ball shaped object role through the sunlight opening. It bounces on the stone floor of the cellar.
“For your intrusion,” the masked man starts to say. You close your eyes in terror.

You hear a deafening noise followed by chaotic screams and gunshot. You close your eyes even more. The ringing in your ears stops and you open your eyes. You try to speak and a desperate whimper is all you can summon. You see eight people in battle dress and black full face gas masks. One of them approaches you and slings his weapon over his shoulder. You watch him take his gas mask off.
“It will be alright. You’ve done your duty. You’ve exceeded our expectations. Let us help you,” he says.

This story was originally entered into the SFX Pulp Idol competition. It didn’t win (aw), didn’t get shortlisted and it didn’t even get an honerable mention. No matter I’m well aware of it’s deficencies and it was a tracer bullet. Oh well it’s a success if someone enjoys it.

Will.

Potentially Related posts

• Cynical Gamer Nerds are Wonderful People (0)
• Dear Money-Grubbing, Soulless Music Pimps: Enjoy Your Horse Porn Emails! (0)
• DIY Gifts 2: More Geek-friendly Ideas (0)
• Thaddeus D Mallardmarrow (0)
• 2 Items to Check Out (0)