Simple links that summarize my feelings for this particular pseudo holiday that inspires more jealousy, depression, and ill-will than possibly even Christmas!

• Wordlab – $122.98 Says I Love You In which the spending habits of the besotted and pussywhipped are discussed.
• Ectomo – Lupercalia: Happy Fucking Valentine’s Day In which the dubious history of the holiday’s Christian/pagan associations is discussed.
• The Sherman Foundation – New Word Order: Honey Trapper In which the definition of a newer phrase says a lot about modern relationships.

Enjoy tomorrow’s discount candy!

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Just in time for both Cthuhlu Cthursday and Vag Day- I mean – Valentine’s Day, here’s a card for your scrumptious puppet of fear, madness, and in some cases the wasted human expression known as “love”.

Although he waits in a death-like slumber, Cthuhlu is still polite enough to at least send a card when the time comes again for the humans to get all agitated and rub against each other in various futile forms of staving off madness and death. The humor of your petty practices of self-adulation are not lost on The Tentacled One, and thusly he has usurped my standard functions and compelled me to create a card that you might share in the worshipful ecstacy of the passing regard issued forth by Mighty Cthuhlu.

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Poking about as I am wont to do, I discovered this Flickr account chock full of vintage Valentine’s Day cards. User Valart2008 has procured (at the time of this writing) 58 vintage card designs from the good old days. You know, when children were all extraordinarily hydrocepalic and wore thicker eyeliner and more rouge than a room full of goths.

I believe I’ve also found the culprit behind the shortening of the word “you” into the letter “u”. It all started back in the 50′s, with a little girl and a lamb.

Enjoy!

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I went in to reproduce the first wallpaper in a more common format and went and made a different one entirely. Luckily for you this one is in 1024×768, which is much more common than the previous one which I have yet to doctor into something more practical.

For this I found myself inspired by the age-old saying: “Love means never having to say you’re sorry” – which is a load of crap, but somehow charmingly sentimental. Ah well. Enjoy the fruits of my blood, sweat, and tears you freeloaders… er, I mean, enjoy the wallpaper. Don’t forget to re-visit this and the previous post for more sizes of each. Card friendly PDF versions for easier printing will be generated on-demand.

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Let it never be said that I throw complete disfavor upon arbitrary, stupid holidays based around the martyrdom of one of three possible guys in order to overwrite pagan tradition. Far from it, any excuse to get more color in my dreary winter, and of course free candy, is a good excuse.

That said I have prepared a lovely little something to give to the one you’d like to get all cuddly-wuddly with for this (contrived, commercialised) Valentine’s Day. It works well as a wallpaper for 1600×1200 displays. I may edit this later to include other, more common screen sizes, so be on the lookout.

Please enjoy! The majority of this was constructed using photoshop brushes located over at brusheezy. They’re absolutely wonderful and I highly recommend checking them out at your next earliest convenience.

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Synopsis of totals available behind the cut:
Radio Rock: 1
Country: 2
Psychobilly: 1 (I would like to see Unknown Hinson in either country or Psychobilly. He’s great, you should google him and check it out!)
Pop: NA
Emo: NA
Original Emo: NA
Ambient: 0
Chillout: 5
Indie: 5
Metal: 0
Metalcore: 0
Hardcore: 0
Post Hardcore: 2
Grindcore: 0
Doom / Sludge / Experimental: 0
Powerpop: 2
Punk: 1
Pop Punk: 1
Street Punk: 0
Crust Punk: 1
Rap: 0
Hip-hop: 4
Ska: 0
Classic Rock: 12
90′s Alternative: 6
Industrial: 2
Electroclash: 2
Electronica: 2

My heritage wins out overall. If any bands are missing from my listening loop, please, fill me in! I really only checked off artists I either have albums for, or have a strong familiarity with. Which means there are several in these categories that I “sort of” know, but not enough to stand behind them for the purposes of this survey.

RADIO ROCK[] Nickelback
[] Disturbed
[] Shinedown
[] Seether
[] Sevendust
[x] System of a Down
[] Flyleaf
[] Staind
[] Drowning Pool
[] Taproot
[] Mudvayne
[] Audioslave
[] Trapt
[] KoRn
[] Three Days Grace
[] Evans Blue
[] Godsmack
TOTAL = 1

COUNTRY

[] Rascal Flatts
[] Carrie Underwood
[] Leanne Rhymes
[] Garth Brooks
[] Dixie Chicks
[] Kenny Chesney
[] Tim McGraw
[] Faith Hill
[] Hank Williams Jr.
[] Shania Twain
[x] Johnny Cash
[] Willie Nelson
[] Merle Haggard
[x] Hank Williams III
TOTAL = 2

PSYCHOBILLY

[] Nekromantix
[] Tiger Army
[] HorrorPops
[] The Cramps
[] Mad Sin
[] The Meteors
[x] Reverend Horton Heat
[] Demented Are Go!
[] Batmobile
[] Guana Batz
[] The Gun Club
[] Klingonz
[] Hellbillys
[] The Phenomenauts
TOTAL = 1
~~
The person I got this meme from edited out the following sections, and i’m mildly disappointed because I’m never afraid to admit the swill I listen to!
POP EMO ORIGINAL EMO
~~

AMBIENT

[] Brian Eno
[] Labradford
[] Global Communication
[] Harold Budd
[] Lustmord
[] Solaris
[] Steve Roach
[] Vir Unis
[] Gas
[] Tangerine Dream
[] Delerium
[] Stars of the Lid
[] Steve Reich
[] Fennesz
TOTAL = 0

CHILLOUT

[x] AIR
[] Zero 7
[] Thievery Corporation
[x] Massive Attack
[x] Royksopp (Recently introduced! It’s very lovely.)
[x] Portishead
[] Boards of Canada
[x] Sneaker Pimps
[] frou frou
[] Imogen Heap
[] Mandalay
[] Carbon Based Lifeforms
TOTAL = 5

INDIE

[] The Hush Sound
[] Death Cab For Cutie
[] The Killers
[x] Elliot Smith
[x] Yeah Yeah Yeahs
[] Belle and Sebastian
[x] The Postal Service
[] Bright Eyes
[x] Franz Ferdinand
[x] Modest Mouse
[] Cursive
[] The Arcade Fire
[] The Shins
[] The Decemberists
[] Sufjan Stevens
[] Neutral Milk Hotel
[] Iron & Wine
[] Clap Your Hands Say Yeah
[] Bloc Party
[] Minus the Bear
TOTAL = 5

METAL
[] Amon Amarth
[] Dimmu Borgir
[] Carcass
[] Children of Bodom
[] Emperor
[] Carpathian Forest
[] Arcturus
[] Opeth
[] Ayreon
[] Cannibal Corpse
[] At The Gates
[] Burzum
[] Therion
[] Mayhem
[] Necrophagist
[] Darkthrone -I-I-I-
[] Celtic Frost
[] Gorgoroth
[] Satyricon
[] Death
[] Finntroll
[] Anaal Nathrakh
[] Testament
[] Atheist
[] Bathory
[] Deicide
[] Slayer
[] Metallica
[] Pantera
Total = 0

METALCORE
[] As I Lay Dying
[] Atreyu
[] Lamb of God
[] Killswitch Engage
[] Unearth
[] Throwdown
[] Becoming the Archetype
[] Between the Buried and Me
[] Norma Jean
[] Zao
[] Converge
[] Botch
[] Bullet for my Valentine
[] Still Remains
[] Bleeding Through
[] Trivium
TOTAL = 0

HARDCORE

[] Bane
[] Looking Forwardx
[] Sick of it All
[] Madball
[] Agnostic Front
[] Gorilla Biscuits
[] Good Clean Fun
[] Donnybrook!
[] Champion
[] Casey Jones
[] Black My Heart
[] Hoods
[] Minor Threat
[] Death Before Dishonor
[] The Warriors
[] xBishopx
[] Too Pure To Die
[] Sinking Ships
TOTAL = 0

POST HARDCORE

[x] Thursday
[x] At The Drive-In/The Mars Volta
[] The Blood Brothers
[] Alexisonfire
[] The Fall of Troy
[] Glassjaw
[] Chiodos
[] mewithoutYou
[] Drive Like Jehu
[] Sparta
[] Bear Vs. Shark
[] These Arms Are Snakes
[] Coheed and Cambria
[] The Receiving End of Sirens
[] He Is Legend
[] Scary Kids Scaring Kids
TOTAL = 2

GRINDCORE

[] Napalm Death
[] Nasum
[] Pig Destroyer
[] Cattle Decapitation
[] Agoraphobic Nosebleed
[] Cephalic Carnage
[] Anal Cunt
[] Fuck… I’m Dead
[] Ed Gein
[] The Number 12 Looks Like You
[] Discordance Axis
[] Aborted
[] Assück
[] Ion Dissonance
[] Genghis Tron
[] Cryptopsy
[] Dying Fetus
[] The Locust
TOTAL = 0

DOOM / SLUDGE / EXPERIMENTAL

[] Neurosis
[] Sunn O
[] Oxbow
[] Red Sparowes
[] Swans
[] Pelican
[] Isis
[] Zeni Geva
[] Cult of Luna
[] Today Is The Day
[] Godspeed You! Black Emperor (I need to hear more of these guys! GIMME!)
[] Crash Worship
[] Explosions In The Sky
[] Grails
[] Culper Ring
[] Tribes of Neurot
TOTAL = 0

POWERPOP

[] Hellogoodbye
[] The All-American Rejects
[] Fountains of Wayne
[] Head Automatica
[x] Weezer
[] Panic! At the Disco
[] Jellyfish
[] Teenage Fanclub
[] The Lashes
[] The Lost Patrol Band
[] The Click Five
[] Cute is What We Aim For
[x] Wilco (not sure I agree with the way this is grouped, but they’re still the sex)
[] The Exploding Hearts
Total = 2

PUNK
(half of this stuff cropped up after punk died. if you’re gonna genre-bend, what about The Clash? How about Black Flag, where are they? Or what about the Distillers, since we’re including newer acts. I listen, or will listen, to most of those listed below that I’m familiar with, but I can’t really check any of them off as I’m not THAT familiar.)
[] Rancid
[] NOFX
[] Bad Religion
[] Misfits
[] Anti-Flag
[] Sex Pistols
[] Alkaline Trio
[] Dropkick Murphys
[] Pennywise
[] Millencolin
[] Operation Ivy
[] Descendents
[] Dead Kennedys
[x] AFI (These guys aren’t proper punk. again, bad classification. I listen to them anyway)
TOTAL = 1

POP PUNK

[] Blink-182
[] Green Day
[] New Found Glory
[] Good Charlotte
[] Relient K
[] Sum 41
[] The Ataris
[] The Starting Line
[] Simple Plan
[x] The Offspring
[] Lagwagon
[] Box Car Racer
[] Motion City Soundtrack
TOTAL = 1

STREET PUNK

[] The Unseen
[] The Casualties
[] GBH
[] The Varukers
[] Cock Sparrer
[] The Virus
[] The Exploited
[] Sham 69
[] Lower Class Brats
[] Clit 45
[] U.S. Bombs
[] Leftover Crack
[] Subhumans
[] Anti-Nowhere League
TOTAL = 0

CRUST PUNK

[] Amebix
[] Aus-Rotten
[] His Hero Is Gone
[] Nausea
[x] Crass
[] From Ashes Rise
[] Skitsystem
[] Rudimentary Peni
[] Extreme Noise Terror
[] Tragedy
[] Wolfbrigade
[] Anti-Product
[] Behind Enemy Lines
TOTAL = 1

RAP

[] Ying Yang Twins
[] Bubba Sparxxx
[] Paul Wall
[] Jay-Z
[] Nas
[] DMX
[] Ice Cube
[] Tupac Shakur
[] Jamie Foxx
[] Cypress Hill
[] Ludacris
[] Lil Jon
[] Eminem
[] 50 Cent
[] Kanye West
[] Bow Wow
[] Wu Tang Clan
TOTAL = 0

HIP-HOP

[] Dilated Peoples
[] Mos Def
[] Atmosphere
[] Sage Francis
[x] Talib Kweli
[x] Aesop Rock
[] Blackalicious
[] Souls of Mischief
[] MF DOOM
[x] Jurassic 5
[x] Jedi Mind Tricks
[] Common
[] Gangstarr
[] A Tribe Called Quest
[] Ghostface Killa
[] Pete Rock
[] De La Soul
[] Necro
[] Immortal Technique
[] Ill Bill
TOTAL = 4

SKA

[] Streetlight Manifesto
[] The Mighty Mighty Bosstones
[] Big D and The Kids Table
[] The Toasters
[] Goldfinger
[] The Aquabats
[] Reel Big Fish
[] Fortunado
[] Skankin’ Pickle
[] Madness
[] The Skatalites
[] Voodoo Glow Skulls
[] Five Iron Frenzy
[] Tip The Van
[] Stealing From Peter
[] The Specials
[] Catch 22
TOTAL = 0

CLASSIC ROCK

[x] The Doors
[x] The Beatles
[x] The Rolling Stones
[x] The Clash (Oh here they are!)
[x] The Who
[] Aerosmith
[x] Black Sabbath
[x] The Kinks (I fuckin’ love these guys!)
[] Kiss
[x] The Ramones
[x] Pink Floyd
[x] Led Zepplin
[x] Heart
[] Guns N Roses
[x] Jimi Hendrix
TOTAL = 12

90′s ALTERNATIVE

[x] Sublime
[x] Cake
[x] Spin Doctors
[x] Smashing Pumpkins
[] Gin Blossoms
[] Alice In Chains
[] Soundgarden
[] Toad the Wet Sprocket
[] 311
[x] Live
[] Bush
[] Third Eye Blind
[] Goo Goo Dolls
[] Barenaked Ladies
[] Counting Crows
[] No Doubt
[x] Nirvana
TOTAL = 6

INDUSTRIAL

[x] KMFDM
[] Ministry
[x] Nine Inch Nails
[] Laibach
[] Einstürzende Neubauten
[] Skinny Puppy
[] Front Line Assembly
[] VNV Nation
[] Crossbreed
[] :wumpscut:
[] Throbbing Gristle
[] Hocico
[] Combichrist
[] Assemblage 23
[] Front 242
[] Funker Vogt
[] Psyclon 9
[] Suicide Commando
[] Grendel
[] Nitzer Ebb
[] Haujobb
[] Mortiis
TOTAL = 2 (yeah yeah, I know I’m depressingly commercial on this front)

ELECTROCLASH

[] Ladytron
[x] Fischerspooner
[] Peaches
[] ADULT
[] Freezepop
[x] Daft Punk
[] Goldfrapp
[] Shiny Toy Guns
[] Clear Static
[] The Faint
[] The Knife
[] She Wants Revenge
[] Chicks on Speed
[] LCD Soundsystem
[] Dirty Sanchez
[] Le Tigre
TOTAL = 2

ELECTRONICA

[] The Chemical Brothers
[] Prodigy
[] Moby
[] The Crystal Method
[x] Aphex Twin
[] Basement Jaxx
[x] Juno Reactor
[] Amon Tobin
[] Orbital
[] Paul Oakenfold
[] Unkle
[] Tricky
[] Benny Benassi
[] Photek
[] Roni Size
[] LTJ Bukem
[] Boom Bip
TOTAL = 2 (only went with the ones I know well on this category)

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