You are hiding behind a stone wall being shot at by heavily armed cultist. You have had two weeks of training to deal with situations like this. But you’re only just starting to remember this. You know you should feel angry that people are shooting at you. But you consider that they would shoot at anyone trying to sneak into their heavily armed and very secretive religious compound. Instead you think about the figurative bastards that put you in this situation. They woke you up at four in the morning approximately thirteen hours ago. Bundled you into a car, then an airplane and whisked you six hundred miles from your home. They told you that that two week blackout you had was their fault. That two week blackout two years ago. A blackout that cost you a relationship with a person you deeply loved and very nearly alienated you from your immediate family. They said that you’d been taken to a secret government facility and been in their words ‘The Clockwork Orange’ treatment. Except instead of making you dislike violence they taught you to know how to do very unpleasant things to your fellow human beings. When you didn’t believe this as they quite reasonably expected they produced photographic evidence, timestamped and digitally signed. These memories slowly came back to you. You attributed this to the background music playing in the airplane’s cabin.
The current problem that you are to be injected into was explained to as a local disturbance which could rapidly turn into the European version of the Waco Ranch massacre. They explain to you that this is where you come in. You, they explain are to sneak into the compound and assassinate the leader of the cult as well as disrupt as much of the chain of command. Logically you try to explain to them that Solid Snake does this in the video games and he tends to die an awful lot in the attempt. They do not get the reference. They also suck their gums a lot which you take as a sign of ‘you’re not the first one we’ve sent in.’
The sneaking into the farm ran by crazy cult members did go better than expected. You made it past the official police line and through a field past the body of who you assume was ‘the first one sent in.’ As you reach the edge of the main farm complex however it all goes wrong.
Not the first one to be sent in seems to explain the problem well as you hide behind a dry wall. Your mouth is dry and your hands have almost stopped trembling. Their bullets have stopped firing. Cautiously you peer around the corner and see that three of the larger cultists are running towards you while brandishing very scary looking shotguns. You gulp. Aim the silenced pistol you were given at the closest cultist. Then you fire. It isn’t a perfect shot. It goes through his leg and he tumbles to the floor. He is screaming but the other two have upped the pace. You take aim again and fire. The next one drops without a sound in a mist of red. The third cultist stops. He raises his shotgun. You take cover. He discharges the weapon into the wall and the pellets bounce off the wall harmlessly. You feel you are getting the hang of this. Looking around the corner you feel slightly disappointed that he is running away from you.
You move forwards from this wall to the next. This is progress you think. Then they start firing a machine gun at you and you dive for the closest thing you see that looks like cover. The training you remember consisted of firing ranges, simulated close quarters combat exercises and training drills. Very little of the training (although you cannot be quite certain right now as your memory is still fragmented) involved being shot at and the immediate action to be taken when you inevitably come into the situation. You go on instinct here. Duck and cover, then hope that the machine gun breaks or runs out of bullets.
The person manning the machine gun appears to be enjoying himself. Every few seconds a burst of fire removes fragments of the dry stone wall. The bullets are close and you hear some of them whistle through the air. The gunner however has a steady rhythm to his firing. You remember that you have a mirror on one of the cargo pockets. You take it out and use it to peer round the edge of the wall. There is only him. His burst finishes. You jump over the wall and shoot him in the head. The way into the main building is clear now. You kick the flimsy wooden door from it’s hinges. You hear a thumping noise.
You are cold and cannot move. Your head aches with a dull throbbing sensation. Your face hurts. Opening your eyes you see that you are in a cellar. The thin light of sunset comes in through an opening in the wall near the ceiling. You work out why you are cold and cannot move. Directly ahead of you is a man. He is naked and strapped to a gurney. His right arm has a horrific gunshot wound and his groans occasionally break his possibly drug induced sleep.
Four sky clad people walk into the cellar. One of them has a demonic mask and a evil knife. Another, a drum made from wood with a tight white skin with tattoo ink blue Celtic markings on it. The other two are women who start dancing and chanting as soon as they enter the room. The drummer starts to hit his drum and the masked man you watch move to stand in front of the injured man blocking him from your view.
“For your intrusion onto hallowed ground we punish you,” the masked man shouts. “For your intrusion onto hallowed ground we punish you,” the others repeat. You watch the masked man drag the knife across the injured mans chest. Blood runs to the ground. “For your violent ways we injured you,” the masked man shouts. “So we shall injure you again!” The two dancers say. The masked man pushes the knife into the injured mans gunshot wound. He screams! “We the children of the gods say you must die,” all of the cultists say. The injured man screams one last time. You see the masked man turn to you.
You are sweating heavily now. That evil knife is covered in gore and the blank look of the masked man you feel hides a sadistic smile. The drumming man carries on his vile rhythm for the dancers to follow. You see a small ball shaped object role through the sunlight opening. It bounces on the stone floor of the cellar. “For your intrusion,” the masked man starts to say. You close your eyes in terror.
You hear a deafening noise followed by chaotic screams and gunshot. You close your eyes even more. The ringing in your ears stops and you open your eyes. You try to speak and a desperate whimper is all you can summon. You see eight people in battle dress and black full face gas masks. One of them approaches you and slings his weapon over his shoulder. You watch him take his gas mask off. “It will be alright. You’ve done your duty. You’ve exceeded our expectations. Let us help you,” he says.
This story was originally entered into the SFX Pulp Idol competition. It didn’t win (aw), didn’t get shortlisted and it didn’t even get an honerable mention. No matter I’m well aware of it’s deficencies and it was a tracer bullet. Oh well it’s a success if someone enjoys it.
If someone reliable could tell me when in the future films would become solely based on finances it’d certainly save me the hassle of looking up articles on the Internet. If someone told me it would be next week I wouldn’t be shocked in the least since in it’s current state it’s just about at the point where it’s not about telling a story but a good way to rope in a few thousand people and scam them out of $10 because Will Smith pretends to act (I’ll get into that in just a moment.) As an up and coming independent film maker I have many issues of how things are dealt with in Hollyweird. To rattle of several quick ones — planning sequels months prior to the film’s release (it’s a half-cocked gesture mostly from the studios and regardless of how good you think it is or how profitable you believe it will become you must keep in mind the judgment of the public will have the real say), the MPAA and their rating system and advertising standards, 20th Century Fox (I’ll get into them later as well), studios pushing for PG-13 ratings for a wider audience (I don’t care what educational background you have but to try and make “Punisher: War Zone” PG-13 because “The Dark Knight” conveniently was and made a shit-ton of money doesn’t make it just. How can you make a man’s head exploding soft-core?), and painful “actors”. Let’s break it down, kids.
In case you haven’t noticed that for the last several years 20th Century Fox has prowled on modern celluloid like a drunk man in a bar or a 13 year-old white kid from Iowa who thinks he’s black, they think showing their cock will win affection. Wrong. Lately they’ve really been pouring gas on themselves. The bigger stunt recently is their lawsuit against Warner Bros. over upcoming comic book movie “Watchmen”. The studio claimed that Warner Bros. didn’t hold the rights to make the Alan Moore graphic novel or at least distribute the picture, never minding the fact that Warner Bros. owns DC Comics/Vertigo for which the graphic novel resides on. So now they are currently in a legal battle to do either one of two things — make it so that Fox is the distributor (which can only mean they will ghastly edit the movie into a mind-numbing 90-minute feature that contains only the parts where there is fighting and shit blowing up with no intellectual transition) or to completely wipe the movie’s release date off the calendar completely, never releasing it. Though luckily given that the justice system moves about as fast as tree sap downhill in the winter the trial may not actually begin until January of 2009, a mere two months before it’s slated release date. Given that Fox has a tendency to shoot their wad like they know what they’re doing chances are (this is at least wishful thinking) the case will rule in Warner Bros.’s favor.
Another valid point that Fox has no idea what they are doing to tell a story visually is going around the creators to have it your way. This is unprofessional and also a dick move. One instance stated in the following article is on the upcoming “X-Men Origins: Wolverine” which tells the tale of how Wolverine came to be (Weapon X program, scrapes with Sabertooth, etc.) and needless to say a very dark tale which requires seemingly dark environments. One such environment was changed without the director’s knowledge. What called for something “dark, dinghy and somber” was changed to something less depressing with lighter colors and cleaner textures. Now if in the correct fashion this can work in favor but unless you’re doing some “One Hour Photo”/”American Psycho” clean-looking thriller then you are a pussy of a film maker. Changing a set’s design to something more cheery (a colorful euphemism) is almost a denial of reality itself, thinking it can’t be this dark and disgusting when in truth it can be because it fucking is! You can’t cover a bald Kevin Spacey in Laffy Taffy and believe he just killed Brad Pitt’s girlfriend (if you can, please lower your dosage.)
Changing lanes here — YOU CAN’T PUT WILL SMITH IN EVERYTHING! Okay, chances are I’m blaspheming here but you know what I have to say this, why should I really give a shit about a movie because Will Smith is in it? Because conveniently 98% of the movies he’s done have raked in billions? Will Smith isn’t that fantastic an actor. His barometer for character ranges from a good guy who says “fuck” a lot to a good guy who doesn’t say “fuck” at all. Occasionally he’ll mix it up and have the good guy be a bit of a dick or an arrogant douche but for the love of God just knock it off. It doesn’t matter how fantastic he seems you can’t cast him as “The Karate Kid” or Captain America, it’s wrong on every level imaginable to the sane. If I could ever afford his salary for a movie I’d have him play a serial killer who hardly speaks just to break the mold, and when he does speak it’s in a strange language. To help illustrate my point, whenever I see a movie that has Will Smith in it I know it’s Will Smith, I can’t believe he’s anyone else. I can believe Christian Bale as Bruce Wayne and Trent Reznik, I can believe Josh Hartnett as Slevin Kelevra and The Salesman, but you throw Will Smith into a role I’m gonna know it’s him regardless. Captain Hillard, Muhammad Ali, Jesus Christ, I’ll only think, “Oh, hey, Will Smith.” You may think I’m daft for uttering or even thinking such a thing but I’ve heard a similar tear about Christopher Walken and look at his fucking acting skills. (Inside joke: 111th biopic on Andy Warhol starring Chris Walken.)
A couple other mini-rants. If you’ve never been to Massachusetts or talked to someone from there for more than 20 minutes then it’s news to you that often people from their have a habit of shooting their mouth off. Mark Wahlberg is from Massachusetts, so for him saying that Max Payne could take down Batman in hand-to-hand combat makes sense coming from him but is ghastly offensive to the point where if I saw him in a pub I would shatter the closest bottle near me and jab it into his eye socket. First of all the two characters are miles apart, Payne wants revenge for his wife’s death while Bruce Wayne/Batman wants justice for them and others. And also dropping the obvious factor to play in, he’s fucking Batman. Imagine if you will a man standing before an expert martial artist who is performing a series of moves for intimidation and Joe Guy takes him down by jabbing him in the throat. And in the interview where he made this claim he mentioned it was strictly in the matter of fisticuffs, not the box office which shows even more delusion since if you’ve seen any previews for “Max Payne” you’d know that Fox has ruined another video game on the big screen. Well kids I’m putting out the ashes for now. My next piece will detail the new releases of Metallica’s “Death Magnetic” and Nine Inch Nails’ “The Slip”, and how the two contrast each other. See you on the other side, keep it sketchy.
“Now drugged, and wielding a camera tripod, Blacky begins to charge…””
Last night, while flipping through the channels, my roommates and I came across an exceedingly misleading show entitled “Untamed and Uncut: Goose Attack.” Naturally, we were sold. The boys and I exchanged solemn nods. “Let’s do it.””Would it be weird to watch porn with my roommates? Such, apparently, specific porn? Don’t care. Maybe you missed the title…it contains the words “Goose Attack.” With visions of rampaging men and their equally rampaging and, well, uncut mansticks (too far?) goosing chicks (with, I like to think, perforated wooden paddles), I eagerly clicked “select.”
Well, “Untamed and Uncut: Goose Attack” was not a porn… I suppose I should have guessed. In fact, it was on Animal Planet, though incidentally, the description of the show straight from animalplanet.com is as follows:
Gritty, shocking, compelling, *and always raw*, each half-hour episode takes viewers on a journey around the world to meet the people who’s lives are forever changed by a moment in time with an animal.
I wish I could tell you I made that up.
No, “Untamed and Uncut” wasn’t porn. And it didn’t even feature animal sex (foiled again.) What it was, though, was one of those “when animals attack” type deals. And, just what was the series-documentary covering today? A rampaging bastard (named Blacky, oddly enough) looking something like this:
Dude, Blacky was a Beast; almost the size of an elephant! Motherfucker was raging his way through a little town in Thailand- tipping over motorcycles, throwing trashcans like fucking Donkey Kong and just generally charging around, terrorizing tourists, for three hours… Three Hours! At one point (after poor Blacky had been shot with a tranquilizer dart) the announcer actually said, “Now drugged, and wielding a camera tripod, Blacky begins to charge…” This show rules!
If you’re wondering what the deal with the “Goose Attack” portion of the show was all about… well, a goose attacks a fisherman and his dog. I’d actually seen it before and to this day it gives me visions of being mauled to death by legions of loons every time I go kayaking. Speedy fuckers.
For reference, film evidence of various persons being assaulted by large birds.
Whether or not you feel that you’ve just wasted four minutes of your life reading about my (decidedly satisfactory, though misguided) attempt to catch some silly porn action, I highly recommend you start watching this “series-documentary.” It’s got all the elements of a good “when animals attack” show: gratuitous violence, badly generated computer animation (though the website claims to offer “ground-breaking computer graphic imaging,”) stupid commentators and an obtuse morbidity that’s just damn funny (later in the show, someone says, “I was just waiting for that sickening sound of Stan’s flesh being chopped up by those propellers…”) If that doesn’t sell you, I don’t know what will…
First off, it was great to see everybody again! I had missed the last two Media Makers events and kicked myself pretty hard both times. Thanks to my cat and the fact that I have a memory like a (rusted) steel trap, I was able to make it out to Newmarket in time to schmooze a little before everything got started.
Everybody is really busy! I took some general notes on each person and everybody had something fun or interesting to share.
Talked about film projects he’s working on, stuff in conjunction with NewtonStudios.com and BostonFilms.com (bostonfilms.com links to a weird page about internet connection sharing??) - Zerk.tv
Mentioned that he is scoring a film (horror film I think it was).
Bryan White of Cinema Suicide -
Launched Soundtrack Apocalisse, featuring soundtrack reviews. Apocalisse is Italian for apocalypse! Neat!
He’s got tshirts for Cinema Suicide now! They’re really cool looking, done in fake movie poster style, with Cinema Suicide’s URL on them. Go get one now so you can say you were in at the ground floor.
Quoted by Ghost Adventures, who will soon be putting out a DVD (which may or may not contain some of those CS group quotes). (Correct me if I’m citing the wrong Ghost Adventures group.)
He mentioned gearing up to do a documentary about the less-than-savory history of Portsmouth, NH and doing some paranormal investigation to coincide with the area. Talked about a lot of really interesting history surrounding Portsmouth. Things I’d never heard before like all the old aqueduct work that has survived, and the old tunnels under the city surviving from old military installations. It sounds like there are a lot of really fascinating subjects he could cover in a Portsmouth documentary and I look forward to hearing way more about it.
Cinema Suicide got covered by local entertainment paper: The Wire. The story is mentioned on the front page, so if you see a copy, go grab it!
Rob is a writer, a musician and photographer. He’s got a pretty awesome flickr profile at santaplausible (which is a name I just absolutely love, by the way). He’s looking to collaborate and learn more about cool stuff to do on the internet.
Shawn is a writer and I believe he said he’s also done some teaching. He’s interested in getting involved in more media and web-based projects.
Over at GeekForceFive, he experimented with adding a Question of the Day to a video post he did regarding his recent NIN concert experience. This got some of the best feedback he’s seen yet, and he is considering making Question of the Day a regular feature on GFF. Sounds like a terrific idea and I hope he keeps us posted!
He’s also forging a community area for GFF at geekforcefive.ning.com - ning.com being a resource for people who want to take a sort of plug-and-play approach to social networking/community sites.
Got BIG plans for the upcoming SXSW, trying to get a panel together on “Can social media save the world?” and is looking for support to get this exciting concept off the launchpad and into the conference. The idea behind this panel was inspired by her recent experiences at PodCamp Boston.
Got a site going called UptownUncorked.com, which has a neat wine glass shape going on with the first U that I think is really neat and would totally like to see develop more as a concept.
Recently attended a Mashable event in Boston. Also mentioned that she’s a frequent attendee of Boston. Any Media Maker folks who are interested in Boston events should probably contact her for info on carpooling and so forth.
I finally got to meet @debdebtig! I’ve been following her for a while on Twitter because she’s a locally active person. It’s nice to be able to put a face to a name like that.
Deb is a tech communicator (all types of media, not just writing), as well as a local farmer!
She’s got nheggs.blogspot.com and will be branching that out to include an official site (NHeggs.com) as well as adding some web service profiles for her chickens, giving people a day-in-the-life look into what it’s like to be a hen on the farm.
Anecdotally - Back-in-the-day, her husband ran the largest BBS in southern New Hampshire! How cool is that? I myself didn’t spend much time on the internet during the BBS days, I spent more time trying to stay up late playing Shining Force on the Sega channel without getting caught. :3
He’s also written a book! It’s called Practical Rails Plugins and it’s currently available for pre-order on Amazon. It’s pretty exciting to have published authors in our midst.
For anyone who doesn’t know, Nick is a freelance developer, working primarily with Ruby on Rails, but is awesome enough to provide services above and beyond that as duty calls.
He’s also been involved with a zine called ink19, which as I understand it started life as a paper zine and has since evolved some digital tentacles to better propel itself through the cultural miasma that is the internet. The primary focus of ink19 is music, but they cover other fun stuff like movies, television and various other exciting whatnots.
Nick has a dream! A dream in which it is much easier for people to read and distribute webcomics. That’s a really awesome dream. One which we can probably all get behind.
Sub-question: Should we do a group event to brainstorm all the possible features and needs of a webcomic reader/distro system? Could be a really entertaining and worthwhile project, and could ultimately unseat things like WordPress when it comes to web comic creation and distribution! (and how boss monster would that be? pfft. very.)
Brian Turnbull -
Another newcomer, and recent transplant from Chi-town (Chicago). He’s a professional photographer and has recently collaborated with ZapNap.
Brian and Nick worked with a client to very recently launch Razume.com, a site in which people can have their resumes reviewed by their peers (and probably also by hiring professionals!).
He’s also working away on a pilot for an HD webisodic show called Thomas in Wonkyland. The premise came about at an improv event a while back, and some of those same players are coming back to work on this concept. It sounds absolutely hilarious and I can’t wait to see it!
John recently helped his wife make a 1 minute movie for a film festival called le 60, a bunch of 1 minute movies to be shown in Boston in mid-September. He shared with us a really inspiring story about how he contacted a musician in Germany that he really admired, and was able to get some unique music for the project from that communication. Very cool. Incidentally: le 60 is accepting submissions through August 15th, so there is still time to participate in this project/contest.
Jill Silos -
Jill is an author and cultural historian who works with grad students at UNH, as well as other local college-level students in the area.
She is working on a book called Everybody Get Together: The Politics of the Counterculture. The book in project form won an award back in 2005, and I think it’s safe to say everyone in the group was very interested in the finished product when it’s ready for release.
She’s learning to play guitar and apparently does a pretty mean D minor, but is still looking for tips on how to transition between chords.
As for myself, I talked a little bit about exciting new developments at work, and a few of my ideas for RKNet.
RKNet will be featuring content from paid bloggers. I am still taking inquiries about this, although I have had several interested parties contact me already. Email giania [at] gmail.com if you wish to get more info about the program.
The purpose of the paid blogging program is to free me up to do the following: redo the RKNet template, develop really cool merch ideas, strengthen affiliate relations. Eventually I want RKNet to be something like boingboing without the awkward lesbian “unpublishing” drama. Baby steps.
Chris had a really terrific merchandise idea for RKNet, develop “random kitty” plush toys, literal random kitties, probably small batch or one-off items to keep things interesting, and cement their status as collectors items.
I talked briefly about an idea I had to create a site to specialize in supporting local farmers and local farmers’ markets by providing a centralized site catering to their needs. Deb let me know that in her experience it’s actually pretty difficult to keep up with the normal demand, much less deal with greater exposure. I’d love to work with some people on this concept, to come up with a variety of ideas on how a site like this could help the most people, and maybe make some money.
Some things I neglected to mention:
I’ve got a soup! giania.soup.io it’s a kind of micro-blogging, tumblr sort of service. It’s lots of fun and allows for quick sharing of some of your favorite (or least favorite) items on the internet.
I attended the Boston-based An Event Apart conference. I have transcribed some of my notes, but there’s still a lot left to put up. Stay tuned.
I mentioned a friend’s ninja doll project but forgot the URL ( ninja-dolls.com DUH), also posted the URL in the comments at the NH Media Makers blog.
As mentioned gingerly so as not to offend the nice people at Crackskulls, I am a HUGE fan of Dover’s newest coffee shop, Adelle’s. As we get more people at NH MM, we may run out of room at Crackskulls. I spoke briefly with one of the people who works at Adelle’s and it sounds like they might be interested in hosting an event like ours. I believe they have wifi there, and I’m working on getting them their own website so news/events can be posted there also. I’m really dying to try one of their bacon cheddar scones.
Day one was fraught with challenges, up to and including having trouble finding the venue. It took a lot of wandering around, a phone call, and I think two concierge desk stops to finally figure out that the Copley Plaza Marriott was in fact through the Copley Plaza Westin and the attached mall. That said, on with the notes.
Missed over half of this session. :( I blame Mass traffic.
Hits on server vs. File size. The more hits to the server, the slower the load times. File size isn’t nearly as much of an issue.
IE(6) does not cache 2nd tier stylesheets. (stylesheets linked from within other stylesheets)
IE6 wants nothing to do with your fancy link styling. Don’t rely on it to convey critical information if you think you’ll have a significant amount of IE6 visitors. (Know your audience!)
Mobile phones probably can’t handle your stylesheet (iPhone notably excepted from this guideline).
create a grid or layout background to use for debugging.
Create a debugging stylesheet that replaces more subtle elements with large, bold colors to see exactly how your major elements line up.
Set default colors in the body of the document to override any CSS weirdness or absence.
Try to avoid measurements in pixels. Percentage or EM will provide better usability and cross-browser support.
Create a framework file. This is a totally empty stylesheet, containing only elements, classes and ids, as well as comments explaining the general purpose of each. This provides the framework for others to understand your work, and gives you a blank to start from in future work.
Maintain clean, logical naming conventions. Don’t use .RedBigText use .Header or .CallToAction. This way if you have to make this class perform a function other than red, big text you can make those changes while maintaining your markup.
Session 3: Good Design Ain’t Easy - Jason Santa Maria (turned 30! Happy Birthday!)
Look to be different. Be familiar with popular box models & learn what you can do to separate yourself from them.
Print != the web. (!= is does not equal for those who aren’t familiar) Therefore, instead of innovating based on standards of print, we must look to usability standards and concepts to build a better (mousetrap) website.
Design reinforces your message.
Design fills in where content leaves off to create impressions.
Referenced the storytelling power of a mostly visual chart of Napoleon’s progress.
Pacing must be capable of including all pertinent info. Editor’s Note: I don’t remember what I meant by this note.
Design must account for flexibility, changes, functions
Design must be able to demonstrate depth, or give the visitor confidence that they can navigate comfortably.
Design for your audience, not just to fit your box model.
Take advantage of the medium, learn to apply the tech to its fullest.
Plan before you do, and make stylesheets accordingly flexible
Level of design intricacy hinges largely on the type of content it is meant to showcase and support.
“Design can’t not communicate.” - David Carson, Helvetica
The Golden Rule or other ratio is a handy reference for balancing a box model.
You have approximately 1.6 seconds to make an impression on a first time visitor.
References Steve Krug’s excellent book Don’t Make Me Think in regards to illustrating how we use the web. We don’t read. We track around the web looking for the next thing to get us to our intended informational goal.
Great presentation on the web is comprised of a balance between information and emotion, or Visual Organization and Personality.
Organize things in ways people can relate to. For example, organizing information in a customer lookup system like a rolodex.
What’s front and center is critical
Presentation should follow desired function
Downplay non-critical information
Create context by applying contrast, placement and seperation
Consider the color scheme. Contrasting colors attract attention.
Make uniquely important items distinct from the remainder of the page.
Focus on your use of labels, whitespace, and the scanability of your page.
Proximity of items, similarity of items, and pattern of items dictate how noticable they are.
The more differences between neighboring items, the higher the contrast and the more likely a visitor is to focus on it.
Orchestrate the distribution of visual weight (what’s most noticable to what’s least noticable) to influence user experience.
Avoid too many “look at me!” items as it creates confusion.
Avoid too few “look at me!” items as it leads to disinterest
Information should not be distributed via firehose
Be aware of how people access and use your site. Or how it is intended to be used at least. These factors inform how the hierarchy of information should be structured.
Consider how people find you and what you want them to do when they get there.
People come to your site for some kind of content. Don’t let the overhead (structural elements of your website, other navigation, etc) overwhelm that content. Give the people what they want.
Visually prioritize the actions you want or need people to take
Strive for a clear, logical flow of information using visual cues and standardization of content. (Hint: Centering text is very unhelpful when trying to achieve this logical flow.
Consider your overall signal to noise ratio when displaying lots of information. Too much contrast and the data gets overwhelmed. Too little and the data itself is overwhelming.
And then it was lunchtime! Will talk more about that when I get around to my travel log post. I’ll have the rest of day one in a seperate post, so keep your eyes open, and if you aren’t already subscribed to the RSS feed, by all means hit the GIANT PURPLE BOX at the top of the site to do so. :)
Last night and well into today has been a flight of extreme fantasy, not all of which was enjoyable, but all of which has left me thinking. Unfortunately I’ve waited too long to write this all down, so some details will inevitably be lost in the rapid cognition thought-shuffling of daily life.
At some point, I woke up and said “Ok, that’s it, no more Howlings before bedtime.” The series of dreams felt like a test. Felt like a warning as well. A test of my mental strength and a warning not to meddle carelessly in affairs which are far larger and more powerful than I have previously taken them to be. It’s true, all throughout the documentary by Poke Runyon, discussing the methods by which they employed the Goetic techniques to summon, and to scry, I (drunkenly) scoffed at the notion of some of the scraping and bowing, and alternately at the idea of binding and domineering these unseen spiritual forces. (It should be noted that while the Goetia is amply available[pdf], I have yet to read the work itself.) While reading Howlings, likewise I took a skeptical attitude towards some of the methodology, considering it to be somewhat overcautious and paranoid. Some have argued that the Goetic (among other) spirits are sovereign beings, and some have argued that these works are exercises in confronting one’s own inner labyrinth. (Think highly aware self-hypnosis and play acting as a form of therapy or mental/spiritual growth, if you will.) Either way, those that have studied these things have preached caution, and some have issued threatening warnings regarding the dangers of treating these things lightly and carelessly.
I have always been a skeptic of sorts, and perhaps a bit overeager and zealous when it comes to the thought of finding proofs to these claims and methods. Last night’s dreams felt like a deeply detailed experience designed to caution me against doing or saying things which may ultimately land me into very hot water.
Yet I digress, these dream logs aren’t intended for me to get into the whys and the wherefores, but to chronicle the dreams themselves for future reference and entertaining reading. Read the rest of this entry »
Until I started looking at the Analog 6.0 stat reports for the site, I had no idea what a shemagh was. Now I know it’s a it’s a style of head wrap which originated in the Middle East. If you really want to know how, ActionGear.com has a pretty handy tutorial (with pictures!).
However, you’re probably wondering what middle eastern head and face protection has to do with site analytics. I am rather mystified myself!
Observe the following:
Up until this very post, I have never talked about shemaghs. How could I if I had no idea that such a thing existed? (Well I’d seen the head wrap in films, mainly, but never in person and never knew what it was called.) I don’t show up in the first five pages of regular Google search results for the term “how to tie a shemagh”. Ditto the first five pages of image results. Nor blog search results (although I personally think I should show up for a lot more terms in the blog search category, this is one I should not show up for which makes this outcome unsurprising). Yahoo’s first five pages of results also pulled up no mention of my name. I checked the first five pages of MSN as well, just to make sure I wasn’t crazy. Still no mention of this site.
So what gives? Where does this rogue data come from? I am on shared hosting, but this is just plain out of the blue.
I am on shared hosting, granted, but my stats thus far has been without grievous errors like this. Any masterminds want to take a stab at why such a thing might happen? (Also, feel free to make fun of me for the quality of the other search terms that I legitimately DO show up for. lol mudkips.)
I do most of my dreaming in the morning. That’s just the way it is.
And this morning, I did a LOT of it. Here’s a brief overview:
Dreamt my dad was still alive because he’d been sent on a Top Secret Mission that involved faking a serious illness, but wound up being marked down as faking his death. I had a hard time coming to grips with any of that, but was still overjoyed to see him. Mom gave him shit for still smoking.
I dreamt about participating in naked wrastling and sloppy makeouts with some hot girl. The boyfriend was supposed to get involved but he’d wandered off to do something-or-other. A co-worker tried to hump me instead and I politely declined his offer. Still weird. Boyfriend, girl and I determined we should grab a patio lounge chair and run off into the woods since there were so many people around.
There were several co-worker type people floating around in this unfamiliar house environment. Two of which were apparently dealing coke. I tried to make suggestions on how they could improve their business - but it felt really wrong.
Meanwhile, my pink nail on my left hand had duplicated itself, and the original nail underneath was all loose, like a tooth, and connected to the underside of the new one by what seemed like really thin clear fibers and pus only. GROSS. I pulled it out, and the finger immediately seemed mostly normal. Still kinda infected looking though.
I know there was more than that but I gotta run and it’s all I remember!
Today I put a click mapping app on RandomKitty.net. It will give me “heat maps” of where people click when they are on the main page of the blog. I may add it elsewhere, but the home page needs an overhaul before I do that. If you’d like to view the current heat map of RKNet, go to http://www.randomkitty.net/clickheat and log in with the username and password of “checkit” (no quotes obviously). You’ll have to look at the whole week or the whole month to really get any data, and most of that was me clicking random areas to generate data that I could view to test my installation. I look forward to getting a little eye-tracking information for the site. I’ve been doing a lot of usability reading lately and I know that observing the patterns of people who visit your site is a great way to learn how to cater to them in a more educated fashion. (Or I could just ask: how do you like the site? Is it easy to use? Entertaining? I love feedback, good or bad.)
I also signed up for a Twitter app that will now auto-feed the new posts to the RKNet twitter account. I’m hoping that it will spread the news a little more effectively, maybe get a couple more people on the proper RSS, so they can tell me the Twitter update is annoying and can I please turn that off? I’ve also collected a lot of unique and bizzare followers on Twitter here lately, although I did end up following zefrank, and I even participated in a project to tell really short bedtime stories. (There are some really sweet ones in there.) I’m contemplating signing up for a reverse item, that will post my tweets to the blog, but that could be pretty blah if it’s just me. It would be way more fun if the other writers also posted their tweets.
I just got turned down for displaying Project Wonderful ads, but I’m not down about it. It’s just inspiration to really clean up the home page, get some content squeezed out of the fascinatingly weird group I hang out with, and resubmit. Besides, setting up a PW account was an important step for me. Not so I can subject you the viewer to ads here, but so I can eventually promote RKNet and monetarily support sites that I visit and enjoy at the same time! Win win. Besides, I am in the process of setting up another app that will hopefully drive some more traffic, maybe provide you the gentle readers with some links to other fun internet items (as if you need anything else but RKNet! PFFT!), and perhaps even drag in a little cash for yours truly. Mmm… delicious petty cash.
Speaking of del.icio.us, I finally figured out how to get a feed of links put up by people in my network. It’s like a whole world opened up. I suddenly understand the social value of the site with stunning clarity, and I have to say I’m networked with some folks that have great taste in linking.
The more I experiment with the various services, apps, and information sources that are out there, the more fun I have. It may not all be terribly productive, but most of it does provide me with opportunities to meet new people and learn new things, and I think that’s pretty valuable, don’t you?
“It was after this encounter that I decided it was time to make some real changes in my life. I started by burning down the trailer I lived in, along with my porn collection, my furniture from goodwill, and at least 2 weeks worth of trash. As I watched the oily smoke blanket my old neighborhood from my position across town, I surmised that this was the best new beginning I could have ever asked for. Never liked that dog all that much anyway.”
Some kids play in the sandbox. We play in the.... litterbox??? The RKNet staff is pleased that you decided to stop by. Currently this is a multi-author project, with a rotating cast of totally kooky characters. Contact giania [at symbol] gmail [dot] com if you'd like to play here too.
and it’s currently available for pre-order on Amazon. It’s pretty exciting to have published authors in our midst. 
