Admittedly, I’m an Internet n00b (does anyone even say that anymore?) Sure, I was chatting away with the best of ‘em on AOL in 1995, but it’s only within the last year (since I began work at an internet marketing company) that I’ve thought to embrace any browser other than Internet Explorer, any email client other than hotmail. I shudder to think that just a year ago, good ol’ IE held my hand while I traipsed naively through the interwebs, but, since then I feel I’ve taken strides, leaps, cross-country flights in the right direction; and today I’m proud to say that, Internet junkie or not, I am a bit of a Firefox whore.
I’m not web-developer. I can’t code (yet). I dabble in SEO but have barely scratched the surface. No, I’m just your average Internet user, and below is a list of the apps I like. Applications come and go, and I’ll admit, I try more than my fair-share. But, some add-ons stand their ground and prove useful and pleasant day in and day out– even, or perhaps especially, for the Internet n00b like me.
Mouse over a link and, in the top right corner of the term an icon indicating the location appears. Wikipedia shows up as a small W, Newsweek as a red box with a white N, and so on. Mouse over this icon, and a window pops up where the contents of the link is displayed like its own separate page. It’s not just a preview. Most of the time the entire contents of the page will be given; a scroll bar down the right side if necessary.
There are actually several link-preview applications on Firefox, but I’ve found Interclue to be the least intrusive. Many pop-up with an unintentional mouse-over and stay-up, blocking half the page and contributing to my overall level of irritation (one that sits quietly in the background of my average workday.)
I love this photo and video viewer. Cooliris turns your browser into a 3-D screen for viewing photos, images and videos. From browsing a friend’s Facebook album, to searching for videos on you-tube, Cooliris is convenient, easy and fun to use. It also features a “discover” section, where images and videos of the latest news, sports, art and entertainment are posted. Click on the image and you’ll be taken directly to its source. Only one complaint: a right mouse-click won’t bring up the option to save the photo.
Post to directly to Twitter from your address bar. Your 140 characters count down as you type, and a clicking a conveniently placed green arrow signifies you’re ready to post. The login window pops up to confirm so you don’t end up posting random urls every time you hit enter. Quick and easy!
That is not dead which can eternal lie,
And with strange aeons even death may die.
Something I have learned over the past decade is that every investigative hero requires the correct and proper equipment. One thing they require is a sensible bag to store manuscripts and treasures in. Indiana Jones had his modified gas mask bag. Dean Corso from “The Ninth Gate” had his canvas satchel. Spider Jerusalem had his leather book bag. Currently I use a Megatokyo bag shoulder bag or a Burton snowboarding rucksack depending on what I’m doing. Both have served me well and see many wonderful sights. When I was first exposed to the Mythos I don’t know what my bag was. I would have been at school and just started doing my GCSEs. I believe that I used a cheap nasty messenger bag at the time.
My first exposure to the Cthulhu Mythos was rather appropriately took place outside of a library. Somehow talk drifted to the Necronomicon. A goth kid from the sixth form had bought a copy of it into school. “This is a famous book of occult bad ass,” was how it was described to me. No word or mention of Mr Lovecraft or of the books fictional origins. Sadly for my fifteen year old self a little research soon uncovered the books falseness.
Many people though still think that the Necronomicon is a real book. The copy that the acquaintance in the sixth form had was undoubtedly now a copy of the Simon Necronomicon. But first the fictional history of the book.
First mention of the book appears in the 1921 story “The Hound” (published 1924) as a book written by the “Mad Arab” Abdul Alhazred who was mentioned in a story written one year earlier called “The Nameless City”. The Necronomicon itself is mentioned in no less then five of Lovecraft’s Mythos stories. With references made to the tome in “At the Mountains of Madness” and “The Case of Charles Dexter Ward” among other stories.
In the 1921 story “The Nameless City” the rhyming couplet by Abdul Alhazred is given at two points in the text. This couplet appears in “The Call of Cthulhu” from 1928, it is identified as a quotation from the Necronomicon. The couplet is the one at the top of the essay. Some description of the text is given in “The Dunwich Horror” with the book being often described as bound in leather and having metal clasps to keep the large book’s pages safe from damage.
The authenticity of the Necronomicon has been in question since the time of Lovecraft with the author often being asked about the book. His answer was always that it was an invention of his own. In a letter to letter to Robert Bloch in July 1933 he clearly writes: “As for the “Necronomicon”—this month’s triple use of such allusions is bringing me in an unusual number of inquiries concerning the real nature & obtainability of Alhazred’s, Eibon’s, & von Junzt’s works. In each case I am frankly confessing the fakery involved.”
But still rumors of the books authenticity persist. These rumors helped by various differing editions of the Necronomicon being published in the years since Lovecrafts death. One of these the Simon Necronomicon mentioned above was released in 1977 by Schlangekraft, Inc. in a limited edition of 666. The book was later released in paperback and has never been out of print since. Unfortunately I’ve never read the Simon Necronomicon. So I can only give a quick digest of the information on Wikipedia. But it might be of interest if anyone wants to read further into the subject after.
The book claims in it’s introduction that it is a translation of the Greek Necronomicon. The content of the book is mostly based on Sumerian mythology with attempts to tie various entities in Mesopotamian mythology to correspondent entities in Lovecraft’s Mythos. Eh, what else is there to say? It’s black magic bullshit with curses and summons written in a mix of English and ancient Sumerian. With warnings all over the book claiming it’s danger. The back cover saying that this book is “the most potent and potentially, the most dangerous Black Book know to the Western world.”
Whatever the truth is and I suspect that the truth is fictional. The Necronomicon has a place in pop culture like no other book. With references to the book appearing in the Evil Dead film series, web comic Megatokyo and Terry Pratchett’s Discworld book “Moving Pictures”.
Will.
Next a journey into the occult underground of The Invisibles and Chaos Magic.
Pages of obvious interest:
The H.P. Lovecraft.com page about the Necronomicon, contains further information about the Necronomicon.
I think I’ve been listening to too much Röyksopp lately. For context, I’ve found myself highly enamored of a certain track off their album The Understanding called “What Else Is There?“. It features vocals provided by Karin Dreijer Andersson from an electronica duo called The Knife (whose album Silent Shout has also been on repeat a lot for me) and I have fallen in love with her unique and expressive voice.
That being said, on the with the description. I was in this housing area, all cheap houses, run down and small. Looking on from a short distance, I saw a huge explosion rip through 3 or 4 of the buildings, seemingly at random. I looked to my companions (who defy description right now, just some people, I can’t remember) and ran towards the damage. I’ve dreamt almost this same thing before, I know it. Sudden fire in run down houses, or an explosion followed by fire. It was chewing up the old, dry buildings.
Then it all reset. Same place, no explosion, none of that. I rode in the mind of someone sneaking through these projects, tiptoeing by back doors and noticing as they all swung open by themselves. Screen doors, all, and cats of different kinds peering out from kitchens or living rooms. Sometimes there were people within, all walking away, not noticing that the door was open. The creeping person was a thief and although no entry was made into any of these houses, the big black bag s/he carried filled up. A small rip showed a blue and white striped piece of terry cloth sticking out. Perhaps the dishes wrapped in the towel to prevent noise? Who knows?
Finally coming to an unremarkable house near the end of the rows, the thief enters and discovers an old man and a fluffy white cat. There’s a moment of mutual surprise, then the cat makes a mad dash for the open door, and the thief follows, trying to track it down through these houses while still remaining silent and unseen, still carrying the full bag. The cat dashes under buildings built off the ground, and finally the thief is able to cut it off at an awkward turn near a wall and snatches the beast up, dragging it back to its master.
There’s a short conversation after that, and the old man says he’s not going to rat out the thief. The thief cautions that there may be some dangerous activity.
Cut to a group of about five or six people. Storm clouds are high, thready, and getting darker, turning the sky to a psilocybin vision of broadly patterned marble. The people are holding onto what appears to be the female end of extention cords, which are all tangled together and tied to a central location, looking to be pipes coming out of one of the houses. They stretch the cords into the road, fanning out in an uneven manner over about a 180° area. A stroke of lightning comes down slowly, almost like a weighted streamer: straight down, but wavering in the air. It is viewed from the eyes of one of the group before it hits them. The power goes through the cords and infuses the others. One by one they begin shouting, calling down the lightning on themselves, despite the presence of others on the scene insisting they stop (but too afraid to act).
There was only one left, hesitant, stupid, afraid of the lightning. The others had disappeared, disintegrated or wandered off or something. The one left walked away. It may have come back to the explosion at that point but I don’t recall.
Other points which are unclear to me now:
Pulling a large revolver on someone who wanted to come into a house where I lived. It was large and dull and akward.
Yelling and throwing things at a group of young, grinning hooligans who heaped things in the middle of the yard and doused it in gasoline, intending to set fire to the whole property
Counciling a very angry young man, sharing tales with him. We were both in Civil War era dress. I slowly went from persuading him to stay, to comforting, to seducing. Anything to distract him from this blind fury.
A master/husband type figure appearing during the “seduction” phase, unperturbed by the scenario.
Also, for your convenience here are the lyrics to “What Else Is There?”
It was me on that road
But you couldn’t see me
Too many lights out, but nowhere near here
It was me on that road
Still you couldn’t see me
And then flashlights and explosions
Roads end getting nearer
We cover distance but not together
I am the storm I an the wonder
And the flashlights nightmares
And sudden explosions
I don’t know what more to ask for
I was given just one wish
It’s about you and the sun
A morning run
The story of my maker
What I have and what I ache for
I’ve got a golden ear
I cut and I spear
And what else is there
Roads and getting nearer
We cover distance still not together
If I am the storm if I am the wonder
Will I have a flashlights nightmares
And sudden explosions
There’s no room where I can go and
You?ve got secrets too
I don’t know what more to ask for
I was given just one wish
Note: These are just what I found online, I know there is a verse or two missing and maybe a few lines wrong. Care to help me flesh that out?
Dr. Hypercube, for once again rising to the challenge!
Clicking on the image above will produce the full-size version, which is 1000×400. The signature is less authentic than I would like, but I haven’t the capabilities to render a more genuine signature at the present. (And quite frankly that’s for the best, it makes the odds of my signature being ripped off slightly less if it’s not an accurate replica. I guess.)
You may note that this is made out directly to Dr. Hypercube, which in this instance makes it more of a check than a readily exchangeable monetary unit. However, since currency is by and large simply a made up notion, I see no harm in this.
In this mix, for your listening pleasure, I thought I’d slow things down, and stretch things out a little. Kind of get you all in the mood for some late night philosophy and spooning. I’m too cheap to ply all of you with booze so I thought I’d make you a mix tape, kind of give you a little something to ruminate on before I discuss the merits of an open view of love in this century and bum drinks off you all night. Hope that’s cool, ’cause we’re totally friends right broham?
Anyway, the background image for this tape is Sisters G from Gatochy’s flickr stream. I can think of no nicer image to go with the theme of “everything is better in pairs”. Except for maybe some extra-adorable mittens, but it’s Spring now and no more of THAT! Anyway, for the sake of not writing all over the lovely ladies’ faces, I just titled the tape “Pairs”.
Pairs are exactly what you’ll get on this tape. Let’s explore the contents, shall we?
Jesus and Mary Chain - April Skies
I listened to this song the other day on the way to work and it improved my mood like nothing else could at that very moment. Music to soothe the savage neurotic.
Jesus and Mary Chain - Darklands
The second J&MC track is one of my favorites. “I wanna move, I wanna go, oh I wanna go, do-do-de-do-do-doo…”
I went with one I’m unfamiliar with, to avoid the folly of ignoring deep tracks. It’s got a bit of a Velvet Underground feel. Check the pedigree though!
Jonathan Richman - Satisfied Mind
I chose this track because it’s a classic (1955 by Porter Wagoner), and Richman’s treatment of it is a great introduction to his style.
Jonathan Richman - Springtime in New York
Truth be told, all I can think of when I read this is Stephen King’s The Wastelands. It’s all those dreams about NYC they have.
From the sounds of this song, you can see where he fits with Richman and Donovan. Rich metaphor paired with a bare-hearted, literal approach combine for maximum enjoyment.
Rounding out this mix is Jeff with the rest of his usual band, Wilco, in a tune off of Yankee Hotel Foxtrot. The opening violin reminds me of Yoshi’s Island.
I hope you all enjoy this! What are some of your favorite pairs of songs?
April Fools’ Day, one of the most loathsome and wasteful days the calendar year has to offer, has come and gone. Most everyone seems to have survived, thankfully.
DeviantArt, known for being a haven of artists producing works ranging from hackle-raising (no pun intended) furryfan art to really goodphotography, decided to celebrate this traditional day of asshattery by pranking all of its users. The accomplished this feat, not by Rickrolling everybody and their brother, but by taking care of exposing the masses to another already-mostly-expired internet meme.
For the duration of April first, all DeviantArt user pics were changed to a looping animated gif of a Mudkip, which displayed the phrase “so I heard you like mudkips??”. (Well, more or less anyway.)
It was of course only a joke and DeviantArt returned everyone’s avatars to normal when it was April 2nd. April Fools’ Day was pretty uneventful for yours truly, I think I would have liked to have had a little omigod hax! rather than an entire day of waiting for someone to do something awful to me. Anybody out there get meme bashed or otherwise tricked this past April 1st?
In an endless void of silence, one voice was bold enough to even suggest an answer to the challenge put forth by me and my cavalier crew! It was none-other than the good Doctor. The email from Dr. Hypercube was like manna from the heaven that exists in a twisted alternate reality in which anatomy was meant to be treated just like modeling clay.
Despite his highly understandable trepidation in regards to meddling with the forms of nature, he slipped through enemy lines in broad daylight to pass on a concept so daring, so bold, so positively fantastic that I nearly fainted on the spot.
It was a simple visual combination, he suggested, trying not to catch the attention of the vicious guards of Biology and Feminism.
Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to find the picture of Mrs. Impossible that I wanted, but I feel as though this one fits surprisingly well. You see, Sally Impossible was bombarded with radiation in an accident (ala The Fantastic Four), and now turns “invisible”. I use the term invisible in quotes because the only part of her that turns invisible is her epidermis, skin, outermost human shell. This reveals something that looks like one of those human anatomy models. It’s unfortunate, and since it happens that she reverts to this “invisible” state without a great deal of concentration, it really puts a damper on her dating life.
Our other inspirational component is the sea anemone - a fascinating creature. Though they appear to be delicate, colorful flowers, the tendrils which gentle waver in the tidal pull are in fact the seeking tentacles of a meat-eating animal. An animal which lives all over the world and has many different species in shape, color, and behavior. Although they lack the teeth to make this combination a true “vagina dentata”, the anemone’s anatomy (say that a couple times fast!) is highly limited, and beyond the tentacles lies the mouth, and beyond the mouth lies what can best be described as a G-spot capable of digestion. Anemones which are divided into two sexes release eggs or sperm through the same orifice through which food is gathered. So essentially they eat sea life and periodically vomit reproductive splooge.
All in all, the most glorious combination ever the grace the minds of RKNet’s fine fellowship in general. A stunning combination of science and awesome cartoons. Roll that into our contest concept of redesigning the human female reproductive area and, well, it’s a work of art.
So, here’s to you, Doctor Hypercube! Even though you weren’t able to diagram your thoughts, you have truly inspired us all in ways we may never be able to scrub from our imaginations whether we’d like to or not.
That said I have prepared a lovely little something to give to the one you’d like to get all cuddly-wuddly with for this (contrived, commercialised) Valentine’s Day. It works well as a wallpaper for 1600×1200 displays. I may edit this later to include other, more common screen sizes, so be on the lookout.
Please enjoy! The majority of this was constructed using photoshop brushes located over at brusheezy. They’re absolutely wonderful and I highly recommend checking them out at your next earliest convenience.
For those not in the know, the herpes references do have a legitimate precedent, namely the origin story of the band Godsmack’s name. Erna stated in a 1999 interview that “I was making fun of somebody who had a cold sore on his lip and the next day I had one myself and somebody said, ‘It’s a godsmack.’ The name stuck. We were aware of the Alice in Chains song but didn’t really think much about it. It’s a cool song and the name had meaning for us”. ~via wikipedia
They’re right. I’ve been smacked in the face by herpes crisps one (5,000) too many times. Now, I lie, drenched in a puddle of mud, SULLen and covered in sloppy joe. [Crawling in my Skin.] Through the mess, I’m screaming for the relief that only Shoutcast can afford.
How will I drag myself through the moist, oozing slit that is Monday without a little Stevie Ray Vaughn to carry me along? How shall I adequately pay homage to the upcoming dreams of Ether-and-Sour that Friday afternoon promises, without a little chair-dance-party-inducing DP? Without you and your [shoutcast] box, how would I have ever discovered the joys of Party Fun Action Committee and Cocorosie?
Admittedly, I’m not always logged on, but the solace that Shoutcast’s presence affords is the only thing that keeps me from tearing the face off of the greyface drones who play 3 Doors Down and Nickelback on the community radio for all of our listening pleasure. Please G. Reconsider. If not for the morale of your fellow comrades, do it to prevent the spread of herpes in the workplace.
I run a private, LAN shoutcast server for our office. Nothing terribly fancy, mind you, just a collection of my music and some of my co-workers’, mixed into a couple randomized playlists. I don’t have too many listeners although we’ve got upward of 100 people at the company these days. I recently made the decision to shut down for a variety of reasons, most of which were serious. I never realized what a row I would cause among my (rabidly) loyal listeners.
Below, for your viewing pleasure, is the first of several letters I received regarding my decision to retire as DJ. [some edits made for the assumption of privacy, and the separation of actual work life from this personal endeavor]
THIS IS A SERIOUS PROTEST. G, you can’t do this! You have created solace and safe-haven for those of us berated by PuddleofSmackLincolnBack. shoutcast[redacted] is the Batman of our Gotham City here at at Suite 260. Shoutcast is our only line of defense against the auditory pogroms waged by The Shark, HEB, and the mindless droning of ignorant half wits that shall remain nameless.
Taking away shoutcast[redacted] is like the Communist Party of India cutting off medical aid to the People’s Liberation Guerrilla Army. Without the Shoutcast you are leaving us unarmed and behind enemy lines. Take right now for instance, instead of listening to Lynyrd Skynyrd’s “Gimme 3 steps” for the 32,453,165,684,652nd time this week I can turn to the trusted shoutcast[redacted] for a much needed diddy by The Pillows. I have but a Dreamsicle’s chance in the Mojave of being able to make it through any given day of work without the delicious tunes provided the company radio. G, you must understand that you are the Coenraad Johannes van Houten behind the chocolate milk of our listening pleasure.
Albeit a motto belonging to a disturbingly misled organization that is funded by pure evil, “no man left behind” seems to be a phrase befitting this situation. In other words, whether there are only 3 listeners or not, those 3 listeners rely on you heavily. Without you there is no us. You provide a lifeline in a dreary wasteland occupied by slow moving cyborgs that enjoy Papa Roach, the Eagles, Michael McDonald (not for humor either!), Kid Rock, Fleetwood Mac and P.O.D. I would rather eat my own bloody vomit than go through a 9-5er without the physical and mental crutch that is the shoutcast[redacted].
I hope your heart stumbles upon my humble (yet eloquent) soliloquies and they help to sway your decision,
Helpless in [redacted],
Jesse [redacted]
With a plea that strong I seriously began to reconsider my decision.
Some kids play in the sandbox. We play in the.... litterbox??? The RKNet staff is pleased that you decided to stop by. Currently this is a multi-author project, with a rotating cast of totally kooky characters. Contact giania [at symbol] gmail [dot] com if you'd like to play here too.
