RKNet Blog... Thing

• @jbancroft must be a big dang plane to need that many pilots #
• curly wheat pasta drenched in simple tomato basil sauce. om nom nom nom #
• @steveswrong I signed up for some basic media embedding worked ok couple times used #
• sms tweeters, what kinda tech you packin? #
• I just registered worstbarever.com .org & .net who wants to touch me? #
• hahaha. thanks @iScatterling #
• @iscatterling oooh… that’s good too! too bad I’m outta money. XD #
• I <3 @brianshaler #
• @brianshaler Oh god oh god I hope the quotes weren’t necessary! #

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Ordinarily, I get really excited when there’s mail sitting in my inbox saying that I’ve gotten a comment! While a lot of times it’s just an approval request for some spammer than actually bypassed Akismet, there are the periodic genuine comments which are always a joy. (And I thank you, commenters, for taking the time to talk back.)

Today however I got a rather nasty surprise. It was spam of the worst sort, it was a comment that had gone through because it actually followed the rules, but was clearly self-promotional dreck.

I don’t mind people being self promotional in the comments, to a point. The line in the sand, however, is obvious marketese and insincerity. The comment, copied below for your perusal, demonstrates everything I hate about people trying to promote themselves “naturally” on the internet. I took the liberty of removing the name of the site and all links from the comment, because quite frankly I don’t want to give these people or this person any extra exposure that they clearly don’t deserve for pushing my buttons.

—begin comment text—
[redacted] is a platform that uses the Internet to deliver high quality radio and video programming. Our demographic reaches an unlimited resource in a worldwide venue. The benefit to artists and advertisers is far reaching, but the most important product is our quality radio broadcast. What we deliver to the audience is what matters the most at [redacted] If you have not had a chance to hear a show, we encourage you to check us out. And always remember… YOU ROCK!
—end comment text—

This offending comment was left on Every Time You Blare Nickelback, God Smites an 80s Rocker.

You want to plug your website? Yourself? Something you like? Go for it. You can even do it in the comments. But for the love of all that’s good and right in this world, do yourself a favor and spare me and my readers the Patented Marketroid Output.

If the original commenter is indeed a human being and not a robot, I would love to have an open dialogue with you about how you can improve your self-promotion tactics so you don’t end up being banned, deleted, or belittled wherever you go. Truthfully though? You only have to remember one word: genuine. If your comments and your promotion doesn’t sound or feel genuine no one’s going to take you seriously, least of all someone who deals with marketing speak every day. Next time you want to comment here, please, just be yourself and not your company line.

Thank you!

Blender magazine recently named rapper Common #36 on its “The 40 Worst Lyricists in Rock.” Not that Blender ever held much credibility for me, but this atrocity is enough to discount anything the magazine will ever say again. Among others included on this list: Jim Morrison in at #10, Ian Anderson at #18, Robert Plant at #23, KRS-One at #25, Paul McCartney at #38 and Billy Corgan ranking in at #39.

I get it. Oohh how controversial of you Blender. Their rationale for naming Common #36: “Never Trust a Rapper in a Sweater Vest.” Because, that’s what we judge musical quality on these days. Let’s be serious for a minute here: a sweater vest? Who does this guy think he is? Black people aren’t supposed to wear sweater vests! Why, Common’s just a white guy in blackface!

Now I get it.

Poor disillusioned Blender. As proof of Common’s “earnest neo-soul thoughts,” they quote his “worst lyric ever” from the track “Making a Name for Ourselves.” It’s a fun, upbeat track and somewhat removed from most of what Common generally raps about. The verse, “I’m your worst nightmare squared/That’s double for niggas who ain’t mathematically aware,” does not necessarily evoke the “earnest neo-soul thoughts” they seem to have a problem with. Way to back up your claims, guys. Worse still: The verse happens to be split between Common and Canibus, who is the guest rapper on the track. If you’re going to make bogus, unfounded claims, at least get your bullshit straight. 

This crap got me thinking. There are so many voices in hip-hop that are underrated, misunderstood or simply unknown. Now, I’m not saying that Common is any of the above. He’s won numerous awards for his music and lyricism. He’s pretty mainstream and certainly well loved. But I’m sick of real hip-hop (No Lil’ Bow Wow here) not getting the credit it deserves in the musical world.  I don’t purport to be an expert on the genre. Not even close. However, I love hip-hop. I want to share some of my favorites with the hope that you’ll [ignore anything Blender Magazine ever has to say] check them out yourself.

I also have to say that timing is everything. Just as I bring this up, the crew over at Wired’s Table of Malcontents blog drop this little tidbit in my lap.

PETA’s Worst Dressed Animal Haters

There’s a good deal of shit talking to be had.

Thoughts?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Friday_(shopping)

For any of you who have worked retail, I’m sure the term “Black Friday” is already in your vocabulary. It is likely said with a great deal of dread for those still in retail, and pity or disgust for those who have moved out of retail.

Seeing as Thanksgiving is as good a time as any to pause and think about the things we’re grateful for, I think this is one term that fits. I am very thankful that I am not working in the mall during this upcoming Black Friday.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Geneva_convention
Much like the recent console launches and their ensuing horror stories, something about major commercial events really seems to bring out the worst in people. My heart goes out to the people patient enough to work during what will undoubtedly be another grueling holiday season without snapping. The endless christmas music alone was nearly enough to break me. Didn’t they come up with something in the Geneva Conventions against torture?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychological_price
Speaking of torture, the other thing to keep in mind when you’re out there scrambling to get “something for the guy/gal who has everything”, is that you’re invariably going to be played more artfully than a Stradivarius.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stradavarius

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Game_theory
Just remember that in the end, the holiday shopping season is basically a hunter-gatherer game. As a rule, it’s better to be a player than it is to be one of the played. “Savvy” isn’t just a five letter word afterall, it’s a mindset.

If you’re running monitarily tight this year, you may want to add this blog to your reading list: http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/
You might also want to check out: http://www.makezine.com/
and the undoubtedly related: http://www.craftzine.com/

Once again, good luck to all who brave the horrors of Black Friday, and have a great Thanksgiving.

http://www.consumerist.com/consumer/complaints/fye-bait-and-switches-wii-buyer-gamer-calls-for-boycott-215895.php

So just when I thought I’d hear all kinds of horror stories regarding the PS3 launch, as it turns out, the two worst stories I’ve heard so far have surrounded the Wii launch.

Sadly it can’t be happily flipped back at the company, allowing fanboys and anti-fanboys to have their various “I told you so” wars. Nope, the two Wii launch horror stories are completely in the realm of regular human stupidity.

The consumerist.com link above points to a YouTube video created by someone who had a pretty wretched experience with FYE. I don’t like FYE anyway, they’re overpriced, their selection is dubious at best, and their store is set up to inspire annoyance at least and paranoia more often than not. (Nothing like walking into a store to have someone paid to look at you funny. If I wanted that treatement, I’d head over to Sam’s Club, they’re experts at it.)

The other story I’d like to share is the unfortunate tale of a good friend of mine. He lined up outside the local Walmart with the rest of folks waiting for a Wii yesterday. Rather than try to paraphrase it, I’ll just share his own telling of the events.

Salty I go line up at Wal Mart for a Wii
Salty now, an important thing of note here
Salty I have some sort of digestive infection or issue going on
Salty meaning that either I’m alright for about 4 or 5 hours
Salty or I’m about a hairs-breadth away from shitting my pants every 20 minutes.
Salty So, I’m in line
Salty about 5 minutes until the doors open
Salty and it’s just like, “Oh. Fuck. This isn’t going to be good.” as something deep within attempts to punch its way out of my colon.
Salty I look at the guy next to me, “Either you hold my place, or I’m shitting my pants.”
Salty “Yeah man no problem.”
Salty Wal Mart employee is there
Salty so I fucking hightail it to the nearest place that has an open bathroom.
Salty Come back, get inside the now-open Wal Mart to line up in my old spot
Salty Employee is like, “Hey asshole no cutting in line.”
Salty “I’ve been here since 6:30 this morning dude.” “No you haven’t, get to the fucking back.”
Salty Guy who said he’d hold my spot doesn’t say A FUCKING WORD

That wasn’t even the end of his trials and tribulations that day, but I’ll leave it at that.

In a happier tale, you can watch this toolbox play his Wii for a week straight if you’re so inclined. http://www.shawnhogan.com/2006/11/watch-guy-play-wii-live.html but why would you want to?

Listed as one of the Worst 10 Games of the Year by Game Informer (whose opinion is periodically subject to question), I confess I am really enjoying Red Ninja. I'm on my second rental of the game right now, because 3 days was not enough for me to beat it with my present schedule. My opinion thus far, however, vacillates wildly between pure enjoyment and utter frustration.

There are 3 major challenges in the game. Tricky Jumping Shit, Tricky Camera Shit, and Tricky Button Timing Shit. The jumping is to be expected. As a ninja, one should expect to overcome some serious wall running, leaping, and crazy hanging-from-a-tiny-filament type action. That isn't so bad once you get the hang of it, and the game is pretty forgiving in terms of continues when it comes to sections that require you to succeed or die.

The camera in the game can and will drive a person to drinking unless you're willing to use the left shoulder buttons to frequently correct the angle manually. To be honest, since L1 is the enemy auto-target - a crucial part of combat unless you feel like taking a chance on button mashing - the camera correction is (usually) pretty easy to deal with.

The game's potentially most frustrating flaw rears it's ugly head during the aforementioned Tricky Jumping Shit. Say you have to dash to the edge of a ledge and leap to the other side, one's instinct is to mash on the jump button on that very last step. Wrong. This is the path to certain doom. Jumping has to be done about a step or so before that. Otherwise your jump doesn't execute like you didn't touch your controller at all, and one of two things will happen. Either A) you will automatically slip and hang from the ledge by your highly skilled ninja fingers, or B) you will dash right off the edge to your watery or cavernous or bone-crunching doom below. No fun either way. Result A is a lifesaver, but result B will happen often enough to cause less patient players to throw down their controller in disgust and quit altogether.

The bosses are challenging, but they rely pretty heavily on their individual gimmicks. Auto-targeting, running around a bit at the beginning of the battle to notice their patterns, and back flipping like a fiend is typically the best way to figure them out. Incidentally, my understanding is that the back flip is invincible. Something with will prove very useful for both the hard-hitting bosses, and the occasional hordes of enemy soldiers.

Still, the stealth elements and regular enemy combat provides you with plenty of things to play with during the game. There are a variety of attacks per weapon, making use of the tetsugen wire can make dispatching soldiers a barrel of fun. There are also lots of opportunities to set up the ever-entertaining stealth kills, which will help keep you stocked in healing materials for the more difficult traps and bosses. The story itself is really interesting, and there are character vocals provided by the same actor responsible for voicing Invader Zim, no less. There is a grading system at the end of each mission, which does inspire replay for those who really want to work on their timing.

While I am aware of the game's potentially fatal flaws, I'm finding it to be fun enough to want to play it all the way through. I'd recommend checking it out on the rental, since I know I haven't been able to find it new or used at any of my local retailers.